# Easy Familiarity, Explanations of

*Exported from [Holy-Writings.com](https://www.holy-writings.com/) on 2026-06-19 — 1 clipping.*

---

> Source: Bahá'í Library Online (bahai-library.com), curated by Jonah Winters. Used by permission of the curator. Original citation: Rúhíyyih Khánum, Easy Familiarity, Explanations of, bahai-library.com.
> ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
> 
> "Easy Familiarity," Explanations of
> 
> Rúhíyyih Khánum
> Ann Boylan
> John B. Cornell
> Universal House of Justice
> 
> 1912/1947/1974
> 
> Contents
> 
> Pilgrim's Note from Ann Boylan
> 
> Letter from John B. Cornell to The Guardian
> 
> Response from the Guardian to John. B. Cornell
> 
> Letter from the Universal House of Justice
> 
> #1: Pilgrim's Note from Ann Boylan
> 
> FROM THE TEACHINGS OF ABDU'L-BAHA
> 
> Recorded by Ann M. Boylan
> 
> Walking today in the gardens by the Hudson River in the early
> morning, I had the privilege of being with Abdu'l-Bahá, and I
> told Him how some people have tried to spread the untruth
> that the Bahá'ís teach "free love."
> 
> He answered: "The marriage bond is very important."
> He repeated it again: "Very, very important. Marriage must be
> strict and pure. You must all be very careful about this."
> 
> He continued: "Women and men must not embrace each other
> when not married, or not about to be married. They must not
> kiss each other. If women kiss women, that is not bad. If men
> kiss men, that is not bad. But men and women must not embrace.
> Such conduct is not taught in the Bahá'í Revelation. AND IT
> MUST NOT BE DONE. IT IS NOT PERMITTED. If they
> wish to greet each other, or comfort each other, they may take
> each other by the hand.
> 
> "Describe how you have seen the women of the East, as in Haifa.
> The Blessed Beauty directed that there should be great modesty
> in the women, that they should not bare the neck and bosom,
> and that the women in the East should wear a veil.*
> 
> "The conditions are different in the West, but the women of the West must
> see the spiritual significance of this Teaching. Do not distress them by
> saying that they should not have done this or that. They will see by
> themselves. Talk about this only, so to speak, one by one, with the
> friends, when you have the opportunity."
> 
> Notes of a talk with
> Abdu'l-Bahá, New York City, June 7, 1912
> 
> *Editor's note [J.W., 2003]: The meaning of this statement about the veil
> can be understood via reference to this passage from J.E. Esslemont's
> Bahá'u'lláh and the New Era, pp. 149-150:
> 
> "In bringing about the
> emancipation of women as in other matters, Bahá'u'lláh counsels His
> followers to avoid methods of violence. An excellent illustration of the
> Bahá'í method of social reform has been given by the Bahá'í in Persia,
> Egypt and Syria. In these countries it is customary for Muhammadan women
> outside their homes to wear a veil covering the face. The Bab indicated
> that in the New Dispensation women would be relieved from this irksome
> restraint, but Bahá'u'lláh counsels His followers, where no important
> question of morality is involved, to defer to established customs until
> people become enlightened, rather than scandalize those amongst whom they
> live, and arouse needless antagonism. The Bahá'í women, therefore,
> although well aware that the antiquated custom of wearing the veil is, for
> enlightened people, unnecessary and inconvenient, yet quietly put up with
> the inconvenience, rather than rouse a storm of fanatical hatred and
> rancorous opposition by uncovering their faces in public. This conformity
> to custom is in no way due to fear, but to an assured confidence in the
> power of education and in the transforming and life-giving effect of true
> religion. Bahá'ís in these regions are devoting their energies to the
> education of their children, especially their girls, and to the diffusion
> and promotion of the Bahá'í ideals, well knowing that as the new spiritual
> life grows and spreads among the people, antiquated customs and prejudices
> will by and by be shed, as naturally and inevitably as bud scales are shed
> in spring when the leaves and flowers expand in the sunshine."
> See reference.bahai.org/en/t/o/BNE/bne-123.html.
> 
> #2: Letter from John B. Cornell to The Guardian
> 
> Laguna Honda Home
> 
> San Francisco 16, California
> 
> September 21, 1947
> 
> Beloved Shoghi Effendi,
> 
> These questions have perplexed me and a number of my
> fellow-believers:
> 
> 1. Some of the friends consider that your letter of February
> 23, 1924, means that local and national assemblies are infallible,
> or at least not to be criticized, even in the business discussions
> of the 19-Day Feast. If the assembly decision is "the voice of
> truth, never to be challenged . . . its verdict truly inspired," does
> this mean infallibility, with its implications of no need for community
> or other advice and of the heretical nature of any criticism of an
> assembly policy or decision?
> 
> When `Abdu'l-Bahá says that it is better to agree on a subject
> even though it be wrong than to disagree and be in the right, does
> He refer only to co-ordinating our actions or does He mean (by this
> and by ". . . if, the Lord forbid, differences of opinion should
> arise . . .") that we should also avoid disagreeing with anyone in
> assembly or community consultations?
> 
> 2. Does the desirability of unanimity in assembly decisions imply
> that a member with a minority opinion should vote against his
> conscience? If he feels very strongly that the other eight members
> were wrong may he, while obedient to the majority decision, bring
> the matter up at a subsequent assembly meeting and try to persuade
> the others to his point of view; or does the instruction to not "object
> to or censure, whether in or out of the meeting, a decision arrived at
> previously" preclude such reconsideration?
> 
> Some societies have artificial methods of achieving unanimity, such
> as motions "that the secretary be directed to cast a unanimous ballot."
> Is it proper, where the "voice of the majority" is regarded as "the voice
> of truth, never to be challenged," for an assembly to achieve a
> unanimous vote by taking a revote following a majority decision,
> in which case it is considered wrong for anyone to vote opposed
> once the voice of truth has been discovered and established?
> 
> 3. Although the principle of chastity has been strongly emphasized,
> I have been unable to find any authoritative writings that explain
> clearly enough what it means for Bahá'ís. English dictionaries define
> chastity as freedom from unlawful sexual intercourse, and no believer
> doubts this requirement, so that free love, companionate marriage,
> etc., are regarded as wrong. However, not all can agree on whether
> any of the forms of sexual activity which stop short of intercourse are
> forbidden. A pilgrim's note by Ann Boylan reports the Master as
> saying: "Women and men must not embrace each other when not
> married, or not about to be married. They must not kiss each other . . .
> If they wish to greet each other, or comfort each other, they may take
> each other by the hand." Many believers do not know this or do not
> believe it. The term, "easy familiarity," is thought by many to mean
> simply rudeness and not applicable to invited or accepted
> demonstrations. Even some of the most unquestionably loyal
> follow the Christian custom of "kissing the bride" at Bahá'í weddings.
> Would you explain for us what our conduct should be in order to
> uphold the Bahá'í concept of chastity?
> 
> Do you give your permission to publication of your answers to
> the above questions in "Bahá'í News"?
> 
> Yours in His service,
> 
> (Signed) John Bernard Cornell
> 
> John Bernard Cornell
> 
> #3: Response from the Guardian to John. B. Cornell:
> 
> Written on his behalf by R. Rabbani (Ruhiyyih Khanum?), with a note of encouragement by Shoghi Effendi
> 
> Oct. 19, 1947
> 
> Dear Bahá'í Brother:
> 
> Your letter dated Sept. 21st has been received and our beloved
> Guardian has instructed me to answer it on his behalf.
> 
> Regarding your questions: No. 1. There are only two institutions
> which are infallible, one is the guardianship, the other the International
> House of Justice. What the Master desired to protect
> the friends against was continual bickering and opinionatedness.
> A believer can ask the Assembly why they made a certain decision
> and politely request them to reconsider. But then he must leave it
> at that, and not go on disrupting local affairs through insisting on his
> own views. This applies to an Assembly member as well. We all
> have a right to our opinions, we are bound to think differently; but
> a Bahá'í must accept the majority decision of his Assembly, realizing
> that acceptance and harmony--even if a mistake has been made--
> are the really important things, and when we serve the Cause properly,
> in the Bahá'í way, God will right any wrongs done in the end.
> 
> No. 2. Bahá'ís are not required to vote on an Assembly against
> their consciences. It is better if they submit to the majority view
> and make it unanimous. But they are not forced to. What they
> must do, however, is to abide by the majority decision, as this is
> what becomes effective. They must not go around undermining
> the Assembly by saying they disagreed with the majority. In other
> words, they must put the Cause first and not their own opinions.
> He (an S.A. member) can ask the Assembly to reconsider a matter,
> but he has no right to force them or create inharmony because they
> won't change. Unanimous votes are preferable, but certainly cannot
> be forced upon Assembly members by artificial methods such as are
> used by other societies.
> 
> What Bahá'u'lláh means by chastity certainly does not include the
> kissing that goes on in modern society. It is detrimental to the morals
> of young people, and often leads them to go too far, or arouses
> appetites which they cannot perhaps at the time satisfy legitimately
> through marriage, and the suppression of which is a strain on them.
> The Bahá'í standard is very high, more particularly when compared
> with the thoroughly rotten morals of the present world. But this
> standard of ours will produce healthier, happier, nobler people,
> and induce stabler marriages. The Master's words to Ann Boylan,
> which you quoted, can certainly be taken as the true spirit of the
> teachings on the subject of sex. We must strive to achieve this
> exalted standard.
> 
> Assuring you of his loving prayers for the success of your
> Bahá'í services.
> 
> With warm greetings,
> 
> R. Rabbani
> 
> P.S. If the N.S.A. wish to publish this in Bahá'í News he has
> no objection.
> 
> May the Beloved bless your efforts, guide your steps, and
> enable you to promote the best interests of His Faith,
> 
> Your true brother
> 
> Shoghi
> 
> #4: Letter from the Universal House of Justice quoting #1 and #3
> 
> February 10, 1974
> 
> From: Universal House of Justice
> 
> To: National Spiritual Assembly of the United States
> 
> We have your letter...asking about a Tablet of
> 'Abdu'l-Bahá on the subject of embracing. We have seen no
> such Tablet, but we have seen reference to a pilgrim's note and
> the comment of the beloved Guardian on it.
> 
> The pilgrim's note reports the Master as saying: 'Women and
> men must not embrace each other when not married, or not about
> to be married. They must not kiss each other....If they wish to greet
> each other, or comfort each other, they may take each other by
> the hand.'
> 
> In a letter to an individual written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi
> it is said: 'The Master's words to..., which you quoted, can
> certainly be taken as the true spirit of the teachings on the subject
> of sex. We must strive to achieve this exalted standard.'
> 
> (Bahá'í National Review, June, 1979, p. 5; partially cited in
> Lights of Guidance, pp. 440-441)
> 
> METADATA
> 
> Views33891 views since posted 1999; last edit 2025-09-30 10:41 UTC;
> 
> previous at archive.org.../guardian_easy_familiarity;
> URLs changed in 2010, see archive.org.../bahai-library.org
> Language
> English
> Permission
> © BIC, public sharing permitted. See sources 1, 2, and 3.
> Share
> 
> Shortlink: bahai-library.com/589
> Citation: ris/589
> 
> select Collection:
> Archives
> Articles
> Articles-unpublished
> Audio
> Bibliographies
> BIC
> Biographies
> Books
> Chronologies
> Compilations
> Compilations-NSA
> Compilations-personal
> Documents
> East-asia
> Encyclopedia
> Essays
> Etc
> Excerpts
> Fiction
> Glossaries
> Guardian
> Histories
> Introductory
> Letters
> Maps
> Music
> Newspapers
> NSA-documents
> NSA-letters
> Personal
> Pilgrims
> Poetry
> Presentations
> Resources
> Reviews
> Scripts
> Software
> Statistics
> Study
> Talks
> Theses
> Transcripts
> Translations
> UHJ-documents
> UHJ-letters
> Video
> Visual
> Writings
> 
> home
> 
> sitemap
> 
> series
> 
> chronology
> 
> search:
> author
> 
> title
> 
> date
> 
> tags
> 
> adv. search
> languages
> 
> inventory
> 
> bibliography
> 
> abbreviations
> 
> links
> 
> about
> 
> contact
> 
> RSS
> 
> new
>
> — *Easy Familiarity, Explanations of (Used by permission of the curator)*