# Family Life

*Exported from [Holy-Writings.com](https://www.holy-writings.com/) on 2026-06-19 — 1 clipping.*

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> Source: Bahá'í Library Online (bahai-library.com), curated by Jonah Winters. Used by permission of the curator. Original citation: Shoghi Effendi, Family Life, bahai-library.com.
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> 
> Family Life
> 
> A Compilation of Extracts from the Bahá’í Writings and from Letters Written
> by and on Behalf of Shoghi Effendi and the Universal House of Justice
> 
> Prepared by the Research Department of the
> Universal House of Justice
> 
> March 2008
> 
> Note ye how easily, where unity existeth in a given
> family, the affairs of that family are conducted; what
> progress the members of that family make, how they
> prosper in the world. Their concerns are in order, they
> enjoy comfort and tranquillity, they are secure, their
> position is assured, they come to be envied by all. Such
> a family but addeth to its stature and its lasting honour,
> as day succeedeth day.
> ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> 
> Extracts
> 
> I.   Preservation of the Bond between Husband and Wife .... 1 – 38
> 
> II. Parent-Child Relationships and Responsibilities ............. 39 – 81
> 
> III. Enhancing Family Life ....................................................... 82 – 121
> Family Life                                                                           March 2008
> Page 2
> 
> I. Preservation of the Bond between Husband and Wife
> 
> Extracts from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh
> 
> And when He desired to manifest grace and beneficence to men, and set the world in order,
> He revealed observances and created laws; among them He established the law of marriage, made
> it as a fortress for well-being and salvation, and enjoined it upon us in that which was sent down
> out of the heaven of sanctity in His Most Holy Book.
> (Bahá’í Prayers: A Selection of Prayers Revealed by Bahá’u’lláh, the Báb, and
> ‘Abdu’l-Bahá (Wilmette: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 2002), page 118)                [1]
> 
> Enter into wedlock, O people, that ye may bring forth one who will make mention of Me amid
> My servants. This is My bidding unto you; hold fast to it as an assistance to yourselves.
> (The Kitáb-i-Aqdas, paragraph 63)                                              [2]
> 
> All should know, and in this regard attain the splendours of the sun of certitude, and
> be illumined thereby: Women and men have been and will always be equal in the sight of
> God. The Dawning-Place of the Light of God sheddeth its radiance upon all with the same
> effulgence. Verily God created women for men, and men for women. The most beloved of
> people before God are the most steadfast and those who have surpassed others in their love
> for God, exalted be His glory….
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                             [3]
> 
> The beginning of magnanimity is when man expendeth his wealth on himself, on his family
> and on the poor among his brethren in his Faith.
> (Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh revealed after the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Wilmette: Bahá’í
> Publishing Trust, 1988), page 156)                                           [4]
> 
> Extracts from the Writings and Utterances of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> 
> Bahá’í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual
> attachment of mind and heart. Each must, however, exercise the utmost care to become thoroughly
> acquainted with the character of the other, that the binding covenant between them may be a tie
> that will endure forever. Their purpose must be this: to become loving companions and comrades
> and at one with each other for time and eternity….
> 
> The true marriage of Bahá’ís is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically
> and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy
> everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God. This is Bahá’í marriage.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 86.1 and 86.2)          [5]
> Family Life                                                                              March 2008
> Page 3
> 
> Marriage, among the mass of the people, is a physical bond, and this union can only be
> temporary, since it is foredoomed to a physical separation at the close.
> 
> Among the people of Bahá, however, marriage must be a union of the body and of the spirit
> as well, for here both husband and wife are aglow with the same wine, both are enamoured of the
> same matchless Face, both live and move through the same spirit, both are illumined by the same
> glory. This connection between them is a spiritual one, hence it is a bond that will abide forever.
> Likewise do they enjoy strong and lasting ties in the physical world as well, for if the marriage is
> based both on the spirit and the body, that union is a true one, hence it will endure. If, however,
> the bond is physical and nothing more, it is sure to be only temporary, and must inexorably end in
> separation.
> 
> When, therefore, the people of Bahá undertake to marry, the union must be a true relationship,
> a spiritual coming together as well as a physical one, so that throughout every phase of life, and in
> all the worlds of God, their union will endure; for this real oneness is a gleaming out of the love of
> God.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 84.2–84.4)                [6]
> 
> O ye two believers in God! The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide
> with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two
> helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other.
> 
> If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace
> of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they
> do other than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every moment for
> death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm.
> 
> Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in the nest, for this is to
> be blessed in both worlds.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 92.1–92.3)                   [7]
> 
> In short, the foundation of the Kingdom of God is based upon harmony and love, oneness,
> relationship and union, not upon differences, especially between husband and wife. If one of these
> two becomes the cause of divorce, that one will unquestionably fall into great difficulties, will
> become the victim of formidable calamities and experience deep remorse.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                          [8]
> 
> It is highly important for man to raise a family. So long as he is young, because of youthful
> self-complacency, he does not realize its significance, but this will be a source of regret when he
> grows old…. In this glorious Cause the life of a married couple should resemble the life of the
> angels in heaven—a life full of joy and spiritual delight, a life of unity and concord, a friendship
> both mental and physical. The home should be orderly and well-organized. Their ideas and thoughts
> should be like the rays of the sun of truth and the radiance of the brilliant stars in the heavens. Even
> as two birds they should warble melodies upon the branches of the tree of fellowship and harmony.
> Family Life                                                                               March 2008
> Page 4
> 
> They should always be elated with joy and gladness and be a source of happiness to the hearts of
> others. They should set an example to their fellow-men, manifest a true and sincere love towards
> each other and educate their children in such a manner as to blazon the fame and glory of their
> family.
> (From the Utterances of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá translated from the Persian)                   [9]
> 
> In marriage the more distant the blood-relationship the better, for such distance in family ties
> between husband and wife provideth the basis for the well-being of humanity and is conducive to
> fellowship among mankind.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                              [10]
> 
> God’s wisdom hath decreed that partners to a marriage should be of distant origins. That is,
> the further removed the relationship between husband and wife is, the stronger, the more beautiful
> and the healthier will their offspring be.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                         [11]
> 
> Surely, all must today be called to love, to unity and to kindness; to integrity, to friendship,
> to fellowship and to divine worship. I hope that thou and thy dear husband may continue to serve
> in all spirit and fragrance and that in this world ye may remain two radiant candles and from the
> eternal horizon ye may glisten like unto two shining stars.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                          [12]
> 
> As to thy respected husband: it is incumbent upon thee to treat him with great kindness, to
> consider his wishes and be conciliatory with him at all times, till he seeth that because thou has
> directed thyself toward the Kingdom of God, thy tenderness for him and thy love for God have but
> increased, as well as thy concern for his wishes under all conditions.
> 
> I beg of the Almighty to keep thee firmly established in His love, and ever shedding abroad
> the sweet breaths of holiness in all those regions.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 91.2 and 91.3)          [13]
> 
> O maidservant of God! Thy letter hath arrived. Thy dear husband wisheth to complete his
> education and thou art eager to go to Africa. Now, ye must consult with each other, confer with the
> utmost love, agree upon a sound decision, and be fully united, for husband and wife must be even
> as one person, that they may succeed in every matter.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                      [14]
> 
> You have asked whether a husband would be able to prevent his wife from embracing the
> divine light or a wife dissuade her husband from gaining entry into the Kingdom of God. In truth
> neither of them could prevent the other from entering into the Kingdom, unless the husband hath
> an excessive attachment to the wife or the wife to the husband. Indeed when either of the two
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 5
> 
> worshippeth the other to the exclusion of God, then each could prevent the other from seeking
> admittance into His Kingdom.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic)                                       [15]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written on Behalf of Shoghi Effendi
> 
> It is sad and distressing that … husbands and wives have not always seen eye to eye.
> 
> In all such cases, I believe, our departed Master urged the utmost care and consideration on
> the part of those Bahá’í believers whose husbands were not in sympathy with their work. He
> thought that they ought to be won by love perhaps more than argument, but it would be very
> unfortunate if he objected to her work for the Faith, over and above all that she is to give to her
> family.
> (From a letter dated 20 March 1928 to an individual believer)                       [16]
> 
> When such difference of opinion and belief occurs between husband and wife it is very
> unfortunate for undoubtedly it detracts from that spiritual bond which is the stronghold of the
> family bond, especially in times of difficulty. The way, however, that it could be remedied is not
> by acting in such wise as to alienate the other party. One of the objects of the Cause is actually to
> bring about a closer bond in the homes. In all such cases, therefore, the Master used to advise
> obedience to the wishes of the other party and prayer. Pray that your husband may gradually see
> the light and at the same time so act as to draw him nearer rather than prejudice him. Once that
> harmony is secured then you will be able to serve unhampered.
> (From a letter dated 15 July 1928 to an individual believer)                        [17]
> 
> Shoghi Effendi trusts that … your wife will be able to devote a little more time to her
> family, but he also hopes that you will be able to assist her in obtaining the time and opportunity
> to serve a Cause that is so dear and near to her heart and in which her services are much
> appreciated.
> (From a letter dated 19 June 1931 to an individual)                                [18]
> 
> In regard to your question concerning the nature and character of Bahá’í marriage: As you
> have rightly stated, such a marriage is conditioned upon the full approval of all four parents. Also
> your statement to the effect that the principle of the oneness of mankind prevents any true Bahá’í
> from regarding race itself as a bar to union is in complete accord with the Teachings of the Faith
> on this point. For both Bahá’u’lláh and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá never disapproved of the idea of interracial
> marriage, nor discouraged it. The Bahá’í Teachings, indeed, by their very nature transcend all
> limitations imposed by race, and as such cannot and should never be identified with any
> particular school of racial philosophy.
> (From a letter dated 27 January 1935 to a National Spiritual Assembly)             [19]
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 6
> 
> The Bahá’í standard of sex morality is thus very high, but it is by no means unreasonably rigid.
> While free love is condemned, yet marriage is considered as a holy act which every human being
> should be encouraged, though not forced, to perform. The sex instinct, like all other human
> instincts, is not necessarily evil. It is a power which, if properly directed, can bring joy and
> satisfaction to the individual. If misused or abused it brings of course incalculable harm not only
> to the individual but also to the society in which he lives. While the Bahá’ís condemn asceticism
> and all extreme forms of self-mortification they at the same time view with disfavour the current
> theories of sex ethics which cannot but bring ruin to human society.
> (From a letter dated 29 May 1935 to an individual believer)                       [20]
> 
> For Bahá’u’lláh explicitly reveals in His Book of Laws that the very purpose of marriage is the
> procreation of children who, when grown up, will be able to know God and to recognize and
> observe His Commandments and Laws as revealed through His Messengers. Marriage is thus,
> according to the Bahá’í Teachings, primarily a social and moral act. It has a purpose which
> transcends the immediate personal needs and interests of the parents.
> (From a letter dated 14 October 1935 to an individual believer)                  [21]
> 
> As regards your husband’s attitude towards the Cause: unfriendly though that may be you
> should always hope that, through conciliatory and friendly means, and with wise, tactful and
> patient effort, you can gradually succeed in winning his sympathy for the Faith. Under no
> circumstances should you try to dictate and impose upon him by force your personal religious
> convictions. Neither should you allow his opposition to the Cause to seriously hinder your
> activities for its spread…. You should act patiently, tactfully and with confidence that your
> efforts are being guided and reinforced by Bahá’u’lláh.
> (From a letter dated 23 July 1937 to an individual believer)                    [22]
> 
> But while the Guardian fully approves of your wish to dedicate your whole life to the
> service of the Cause, he also feels the necessity of drawing your attention to the fact that in case
> you get married it would be your duty as a Bahá’í wife not to neglect your home duties, which
> indeed form a close and vital part of your general Bahá’í work. Family considerations should of
> course be subordinated to the collective interests and welfare of the Cause. But they should be
> given their due importance, if a Bahá’í wishes to lead a normal, well-balanced and constructive
> life. The loyalties facing a Bahá’í are not equally binding and important, but this does not
> necessarily make them irreconcilable.
> (From a letter dated 23 November 1937 to an individual believer)                     [23]
> 
> Briefly stated the Bahá’í conception of sex is based on the belief that chastity should be strictly
> practised by both sexes, not only because it is in itself highly commendable ethically, but also due
> to its being the only way to a happy and successful marital life. Sex relationships of any form
> outside marriage are not permissible therefore, and whoso violates this rule will not only be
> responsible to God, but will incur the necessary punishment from society.
> Family Life                                                                                March 2008
> Page 7
> 
> The Bahá’í Faith recognizes the value of the sex impulse, but condemns its illegitimate
> and improper expression such as free love, companionate marriage and others, all of which it
> considers positively harmful to man and to the society in which he lives. The proper use of the
> sex instinct is the natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the
> institution of marriage has been established. The Bahá’ís do not believe in the suppression of the
> sex impulse but in its regulation and control.
> (From a letter dated 5 September 1938 to an individual believer)                      [24]
> 
> The institution of marriage, as established by Bahá’u’lláh, while giving due importance to the
> physical aspect of marital union, considers it as subordinate to the moral and spiritual purposes
> and functions with which it has been invested by an all-wise and loving Providence. Only
> when these different values are given each their due importance, and only on the basis of the
> subordination of the physical to the moral, and the carnal to the spiritual, can such excesses and
> laxity in marital relations as our decadent age is so sadly witnessing be avoided, and family life
> be restored to its original purity, and fulfil the true function for which it has been instituted by
> God.
> (From a letter dated 8 May 1939 to an individual believer)                             [25]
> 
> The question you raise as to the place in one’s life that a deep bond of love with someone
> we meet other than our husband or wife can have is easily defined in view of the teachings.
> Chastity implies both before and after marriage an unsullied, chaste sex life. Before marriage
> absolutely chaste, after marriage absolutely faithful to one’s chosen companion. Faithful in all
> sexual acts, faithful in word and in deed….
> 
> …Outside of their normal, legitimate married life they should seek to establish bonds of
> comradeship and love which are eternal and founded on the spiritual life of man, not on his
> physical life. This is one of the many fields in which it is incumbent on the Bahá’ís to set the
> example and lead the way to a true human standard of life, when the soul of man is exalted and
> his body but the tool for his enlightened spirit. Needless to say this does not preclude the living
> of a perfectly normal sex life in its legitimate channel of marriage.
> (From a letter dated 28 September 1941 to an individual believer)                   [26]
> 
> He is very sorry to hear of the difficulties that have arisen between you and your husband
> regarding the education of your children. In all cases where Bahá’ís marry non-Bahá’ís,
> especially of another Faith, they should have some understanding beforehand about the children’s
> future religious training; when this has not been done, and if the parents cannot agree, the Bahá’í
> should turn to his Assembly for advice.
> (From a letter dated 8 September 1947 to an individual believer)                  [27]
> Family Life                                                                            March 2008
> Page 8
> 
> He feels very strongly that Bahá’ís, if possible, more especially Bahá’ís who serve the Cause as
> actively and conspicuously as you and your family do, should set the newer believers and the
> young Bahá’ís a high example in every way. As Bahá’u’lláh was so very much against divorce
> (even though He permits it) and considered marriage a most sacred responsibility, believers
> should do everything in their power to preserve the marriages they have contracted, and to make
> of them exemplary unions, governed by the noblest motives.
> (From a letter dated 19 October 1947 to an individual believer)                  [28]
> 
> Marriage problems are often very involved and subtle, and we Bahá’ís, being enlightened and
> progressive people, should not hesitate, if it seems necessary or desirable, to turn to science for
> help in such matters. If you and your husband talked over your problems—together or separately—
> with a good physician you might find that you can cure your own husband, or at least try to do so.
> It is a great pity that two believers, united in this glorious Cause, and blessed with a family, should
> not be able to live together really harmoniously, and he feels you should take constructive action
> and not allow the situation to get worse. When the shadow of separation hangs over a husband and
> wife they should leave no stone unturned in their effort to avert its becoming a reality.
> (From a letter dated 5 July 1949 to an individual believer)                         [29]
> 
> He advises you to, at least for a period of time, try and placate your husband by devoting
> yourself to him, being loving and patient. Perhaps in this way you can soften his opposition
> towards the Faith. However, he has no right to try and make you give it up. The relation of the
> individual soul towards its Creator is a purely personal and sacred one, and no one has a right to
> dictate in such matters.
> (From a letter dated 17 February 1950 to an individual believer)                   [30]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written by and on Behalf of the Universal House of Justice
> 
> Bahá’u’lláh came to bring unity to the world, and a fundamental unity is that of the family.
> Therefore, we must believe that the Faith is intended to strengthen the family, not weaken it. For
> example, service to the Cause should not produce neglect of the family. It is important for you to
> arrange your time so that your family life is harmonious and your household receives the
> attention it requires.
> 
> Bahá’u’lláh also stressed the importance of consultation. We should not think this
> worthwhile method of seeking solutions is confined to the administrative institutions of the Cause.
> Family consultation employing full and frank discussion, and animated by awareness of the need
> for moderation and balance, can be the panacea for domestic conflict. Wives should not attempt to
> dominate their husbands, nor husbands their wives.
> (From a letter dated 1 August 1978 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                            [31]
> Family Life                                                                                March 2008
> Page 9
> 
> The Tablet of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá … which you refer to in the first paragraph of your letter is
> only an exhortation, not an injunction.1 Moreover, it was revealed in honour of some Bahá’í
> women in Iran who must have written to ‘Abdu’l-Bahá seeking guidance with regard to a specific
> situation. Unfortunately, the circumstances attending the revelation of the Tablet are not known,
> because the incoming letter or request has not come to light. The quotation should, therefore, be
> regarded as an exhortation which was revealed to address a specific situation. This quotation,
> like many others, has been included in the compilation to provide the friends with the available
> Writings on different aspects of family life.
> 
> The translation has been checked, and there is no doubt that the text given in English is
> correct.
> 
> As you say, the principle of the equality of men and women is unequivocal. The Writings
> on the subject are clear and unambiguous. The House of Justice has specified time and again that
> there are times when the husband and the wife should defer to the wishes of the other. Exactly
> under what circumstances such deference should take place, is a matter for each couple to
> determine. If, God forbid, they fail to agree, and their disagreement leads to estrangement, they
> should seek counsel from those they trust and in whose sincerity and sound judgement they have
> confidence, in order to preserve and strengthen their ties as a united family.
> 
> It is the hope of the House of Justice that the above explanation will help in alleviating
> your perplexities with regard to the rights of the husband and the wife in a family. However,
> you may wish to refer to the recently released compilation on women for further insights.
> (From a letter dated 2 October 1986 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                             [32]
> 
> As you know, the principle of the oneness of mankind is described in the Bahá’í Writings
> as the pivot round which all the Teachings of Bahá’u’lláh revolve. It has widespread implications
> which affect and remould all dimensions of human activity. It calls for a fundamental change in
> the manner in which people relate to each other, and the eradication of those age-old practices
> 
> The believer enquired about the reference to the statement concerning a wife’s “obedience to and
> consideration for her husband” in the text of the following Tablet revealed by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá:
> 
> O Handmaids of the All-Sufficing God!
> 
> Exert yourselves, that haply ye may be enabled to acquire such virtues as shall
> honour and distinguish you amongst all women. Of a surety, there is no greater pride and
> glory for a woman than to be a handmaid in God’s Court of Grandeur; and the qualities
> that shall merit her this station are an alert and wakeful heart; a firm conviction of the
> unity of God, the Peerless; a heartfelt love for all His maidservants; spotless purity and
> chastity; obedience to and consideration for her husband; attention to the education and
> nurturing of her children; composure, calmness, dignity and self-possession; diligence in
> praising God, and worshipping Him both night and day; constancy and firmness in His
> holy Covenant; and the utmost ardour, enthusiasm, and attachment to His Cause. I pray
> God that each and every one of these bestowals may be conferred upon you.
> Family Life                                                                              March 2008
> Page 10
> 
> which deny the intrinsic human right of every individual to be treated with consideration and
> respect.
> 
> Within the family setting, the rights of all members must be respected. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has
> stated:
> 
> The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered and the rights of
> the individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father,
> the mother—none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary.
> Just as the son has certain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain
> obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the household
> have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be
> conserved….
> 
> The use of force by the physically strong against the weak, as a means of imposing one’s
> will and fulfilling one’s desires, is a flagrant transgression of the Bahá’í Teachings. There can be
> no justification for anyone compelling another, through the use of force or through the threat of
> violence, to do that to which the other person is not inclined. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has written, “O ye
> lovers of God! In this, the cycle of Almighty God, violence and force, constraint and oppression,
> are one and all condemned.” Let those who, driven by their passions or by their inability to
> exercise discipline in the control of their anger, might be tempted to inflict violence on another
> human being be mindful of the condemnation of such disgraceful behaviour by the Revelation of
> Bahá’u’lláh.
> 
> Among the signs of moral downfall in the declining social order are the high incidence
> of violence within the family, the increase in degrading and cruel treatment of spouses and
> children, and the spread of sexual abuse. It is essential that the members of the community of
> the Greatest Name take utmost care not to be drawn into acceptance of such practices because of
> their prevalence. They must be ever mindful of their obligation to exemplify a new way of life
> distinguished by its respect for the dignity and rights of all people, by its exalted moral tone, and
> by its freedom from oppression and from all forms of abuse.
> 
> Consultation has been ordained by Bahá’u’lláh as the means by which agreement is to be
> reached and a collective course of action defined. It is applicable to the marriage partners and
> within the family, and indeed, in all areas where believers participate in mutual decision making. It
> requires all participants to express their opinions with absolute freedom and without apprehension
> that they will be censured or their views belittled; these prerequisites for success are unattainable if
> the fear of violence or abuse is present.
> 
> A number of your questions pertain to the treatment of women, and are best considered in
> light of the principle of the equality of the sexes which is set forth in the Bahá’í Teachings. This
> principle is far more than the enunciation of admirable ideals; it has profound implications in all
> aspects of human relations and must be an integral element of Bahá’í domestic and community
> life. The application of this principle gives rise to changes in habits and practices which have
> prevailed for many centuries. An example of this is found in the response provided on behalf of
> Shoghi Effendi to a question whether the traditional practice whereby the man proposes marriage
> to the woman is altered by the Bahá’í Teachings to permit the woman to issue a marriage proposal
> Family Life                                                                            March 2008
> Page 11
> 
> to the man; the response is, “The Guardian wishes to state that there is absolute equality between
> the two, and that no distinction or preference is permitted….” With the passage of time, during
> which Bahá’í men and women endeavour to apply more fully the principle of the equality of the
> sexes, will come a deeper understanding of the far-reaching ramifications of this vital principle. As
> ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has stated, “Until the reality of equality between man and woman is fully established
> and attained, the highest social development of mankind is not possible.”
> 
> The Universal House of Justice has in recent years urged that encouragement be given to
> Bahá’í women and girls to participate in greater measure in the social, spiritual and administrative
> activities of their communities, and has appealed to Bahá’í women to arise and demonstrate the
> importance of their role in all fields of service to the Faith.
> 
> For a man to use force to impose his will on a woman is a serious transgression of the
> Bahá’í Teachings. ‘Abdu’l-Bahá has stated that:
> 
> The world in the past has been ruled by force, and man has dominated over
> woman by reason of his more forceful and aggressive qualities both of body and
> mind. But the balance is already shifting; force is losing its dominance, and mental
> alertness, intuition, and the spiritual qualities of love and service, in which woman is
> strong, are gaining ascendancy.
> 
> Bahá’í men have the opportunity to demonstrate to the world around them a new approach to the
> relationship between the sexes, where aggression and the use of force are eliminated and replaced
> by cooperation and consultation. The Universal House of Justice has pointed out in response to
> questions addressed to it that, in a marriage relationship, neither husband nor wife should ever
> unjustly dominate the other, and that there are times when the husband and the wife should defer
> to the wishes of the other, if agreement cannot be reached through consultation; each couple
> should determine exactly under what circumstances such deference is to take place.
> 
> From the Pen of Bahá’u’lláh Himself has come the following statement on the subject of
> the treatment of women:
> 
> The friends of God must be adorned with the ornament of justice, equity,
> kindness and love. As they do not allow themselves to be the object of cruelty
> and transgression, in like manner they should not allow such tyranny to visit the
> handmaidens of God. He, verily, speaketh the truth and commandeth that which
> benefiteth His servants and handmaidens. He is the Protector of all in this world
> and the next.
> 
> No Bahá’í husband should ever beat his wife, or subject her to any form of cruel treatment; to do
> so would be an unacceptable abuse of the marriage relationship and contrary to the Teachings of
> Bahá’u’lláh.
> Family Life                                                                                March 2008
> Page 12
> 
> The lack of spiritual values in society leads to a debasement of the attitudes which should
> govern the relationship between the sexes, with women being treated as no more than objects
> for sexual gratification and being denied the respect and courtesy to which all human beings are
> entitled. Bahá’u’lláh has warned: “They that follow their lusts and corrupt inclinations have
> erred and dissipated their efforts. They, indeed, are of the lost.” Believers might well ponder
> the exalted standard of conduct to which they are encouraged to aspire in the statement of
> Bahá’u’lláh concerning His “true follower”, that: “And if he met the fairest and most comely of
> women, he would not feel his heart seduced by the least shadow of desire for her beauty. Such an
> one, indeed, is the creation of spotless chastity. Thus instructeth you the Pen of the Ancient of
> Days, as bidden by your Lord, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful.”
> 
> One of the most heinous of sexual offences is the crime of rape. When a believer is a
> victim, she is entitled to the loving aid and support of the members of her community, and she is
> free to initiate action against the perpetrator under the law of the land should she wish to do so. If
> she becomes pregnant as a consequence of this assault, no pressure should be brought upon her by
> the Bahá’í institutions to marry. As to whether she should continue or terminate the pregnancy, it
> is for her to decide on the course of action she should follow, taking into consideration medical
> and other relevant factors, and in the light of the Bahá’í Teachings. If she gives birth to a child as
> a result of the rape, it is left to her discretion whether to seek financial support for the maintenance
> of the child from the father; however, his claim to any parental rights would, under Bahá’í law, be
> called into question, in view of the circumstances.
> 
> The Guardian has clarified, in letters written on his behalf, that “The Bahá’í Faith
> recognizes the value of the sex impulse,” and that “The proper use of the sex instinct is the
> natural right of every individual, and it is precisely for this very purpose that the institution of
> marriage has been established.” In this aspect of the marital relationship, as in all others, mutual
> consideration and respect should apply. If a Bahá’í woman suffers abuse or is subjected to rape
> by her husband, she has the right to turn to the Spiritual Assembly for assistance and counsel, or
> to seek legal protection. Such abuse would gravely jeopardize the continuation of the marriage,
> and could well lead to a condition of irreconcilable antipathy.
> (From a letter dated 24 January 1993 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                                  [33]
> 
> In … responding to a believer who sought a deeper understanding on the reference to the
> father being regarded as head of the family, a letter written on behalf of the House of Justice
> stated:
> 
> As you point out in your letter, the Universal House of Justice has stated that,
> by inference from a number of responsibilities placed upon him, the father can be
> regarded as the “head” of the family. However, this term does not have the same
> meaning as that used generally. Rather, a new meaning should be sought in the
> light of the principle of the equality between men and women, and of statements of
> the Universal House of Justice that neither husband nor wife should ever unjustly
> dominate the other. The House of Justice has stated previously, in response to a
> question from a believer, that use of the term “head” “does not confer superiority
> upon the husband, nor does it give him special rights to undermine the rights of
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 13
> 
> the other members of the family”. It has also stated that if agreement cannot be
> reached following loving consultation, “there are times … when a wife should
> defer to her husband, and times when a husband should defer to his wife, but
> neither should ever unjustly dominate the other”; this is in marked contrast to the
> conventional usage of the term “head” with which is associated, frequently, the
> unfettered right of making decisions when agreement cannot be reached between
> husband and wife.
> (From a letter dated 15 July 1993 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                              [34]
> 
> Preservation of unity between a married couple is of utmost importance, and if it is going to be
> undermined by service to the Cause, a solution must be found to remedy the situation.
> 
> In other words, whatever path you choose should be one that both serves the interests of the
> Faith and at the same time facilitates the strengthening of your marital union. You will note from
> the following excerpt from a letter written on behalf of the beloved Guardian that the friends are
> never encouraged to use serving the Faith as a reason to neglect their families:
> 
> Surely Shoghi Effendi would like to see you and the other friends give their
> whole time and energy to the Cause, for we are in great need for competent workers,
> but the home is an institution that Bahá’u’lláh has come to strengthen and not to
> weaken. Many unfortunate things have happened in Bahá’í homes just for
> neglecting this point. Serve the Cause but also remember your duties towards your
> home. It is for you to find the balance and see that neither makes you neglect the
> other.
> (From a letter dated 18 April 1994 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                              [35]
> 
> …It is useful to note that the marital relationship is one that requires in many instances
> a profound adjustment in behaviour on the part of each partner. Because the intimacy of the
> relationship exposes the best and the worst in their characters, both partners are engaged in a
> balancing act, so to speak. Some couples are able to achieve at the outset and to maintain a high
> degree of harmony throughout their marriage. Many others find they must struggle for some time
> to attain such harmony. While it is true that the personal rights of each party to a marriage must
> be upheld by the other, the relationship of one to the other, it must be borne in mind, is not based
> solely on a legalistic premise. Love is its very foundation. This being the case, a purely litigious
> reaction to the misdeeds of a partner is not appropriate.
> (From a letter dated 2 January 1996 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                               [36]
> Family Life                                                                              March 2008
> Page 14
> 
> The issue you have raised is of vital importance to Bahá’í couples striving to address
> the various needs and opportunities with which they are confronted in present-day society.2
> As in so many other aspects of daily life, the resolution of this issue must be sought through
> the comprehension and application of the Teachings of the Faith. The believers should clearly
> understand and remain untroubled by the fact that the resulting solutions may well not be
> regarded as adequate by those not blessed with the bounty of acceptance of the Promised One
> and who are enmeshed in patterns of thought which are alien to the Bahá’í Teachings despite
> widespread acceptance of such patterns by the generality of humankind.
> 
> Central to the consideration of this matter must be the purpose in life of all faithful followers
> of Bahá’u’lláh: to know and worship God. This involves service to one’s fellow human beings
> and in the advancement of the Cause of God. In pursuing this purpose, they should strive to
> develop their talents and faculties to whatever extent is possible by exploring the avenues before
> them.
> 
> It is inevitable, because of the limitations of this earthly plane, that believers will, in many
> instances, find themselves deprived of the opportunity to develop their talents to the fullest. This
> may be due to lack of economic resources or educational facilities, or to the necessity of meeting
> other obligations and fulfilling other duties, such as the freely chosen responsibilities associated
> with marriage and parenthood. In some circumstances it may be the result of a conscious decision
> to make sacrifices for the sake of the Cause, as when a pioneer undertakes to serve in a post which
> lacks the facilities for the development of his or her special skills and talents. However, such
> deprivations and limitations do not carry with them the implication that the Bahá’ís concerned are
> unable to fulfil their fundamental, divinely ordained purpose; they are simply elements of the
> universal challenge to evaluate and balance the many calls on one’s time and effort in this life.
> 
> There is no one universally applicable response to the questions you have raised about
> the decisions to be made by marriage partners when both husband and wife are pursuing career
> opportunities which appear to be leading them along divergent paths, since circumstances vary
> so widely. Each couple should rely on the process of Bahá’í consultation to determine what is the
> best course of action. In so doing they might well consider the following factors, among others:
> 
> •       the sense of equality which should inform consultation between husband and wife;
> 
> The Universal House of Justice has stated previously, in response to
> questions, that loving consultation should be the keynote of the marriage
> relationship. If agreement cannot be reached, there are times when
> either the husband or the wife should defer to the wishes of the other;
> exactly under what circumstances such deference should take place is a
> matter for each couple to decide.
> 
> •   the strong emphasis placed in the Bahá’í Writings on the preservation of the marriage
> bond and the strengthening of the unity between the marriage partners;
> 
> The believer enquired about the decisions to be made by marriage partners when both husband and
> wife are pursuing career opportunities which appear to be leading them along divergent paths.
> Family Life                                                                               March 2008
> Page 15
> 
> •   the concept of a Bahá’í family, in which the mother is the first educator of the children,
> and the husband takes primary responsibility for the financial support of his family;
> 
> As has been stated elsewhere by the House of Justice, this by no means
> implies that these functions are inflexibly fixed and cannot be changed
> and adjusted to suit particular family situations.
> 
> •   various special circumstances which might arise, such as job prospects during a period
> of widespread unemployment, unusual opportunities or abilities which one marriage
> partner may have, or pressing needs of the Cause which a sacrificial response may be
> called for.
> 
> The success of such consultation will doubtless be influenced by the prayerful attitude with
> which it is approached, the mutual respect of the parties for each other, their earnest desire to
> devise a solution which will preserve unity and harmony for themselves and the other members of
> their family, and their willingness to make compromises and adjustments within the context of
> equality.
> 
> As society evolves in the decades and centuries ahead under the transforming influence of
> the Revelation of Bahá’u’lláh, it will surely experience fundamental changes which will facilitate
> the social application of the Bahá’í Teachings, and will ease the difficulties faced by couples
> seeking to fulfil their ardent desire to serve the Cause of Bahá’u’lláh through their professional
> activities.
> (From a letter dated 26 June 1996 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                             [37]
> 
> A passage from a Tablet of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá … stated “Hold thy husband dear and always
> show forth an amiable temper towards him, no matter how ill-tempered he may be….”3
> 
> In response to a question about this statement, the following clarification was provided in a
> Secretariat letter of 12 April 1990:
> 
> It is clear that no husband should subject his wife to abuse of any kind,
> whether emotional, mental or physical. Such a reprehensible action would be the
> very antithesis of the relationship of mutual respect and equality enjoined by the
> Bahá’í writings—a relationship governed by the principles of consultation and
> devoid of the use of any form of abuse, including force, to compel obedience to
> one’s will. When a Bahá’í wife finds herself in such a situation and feels it cannot
> be resolved through consultation with her husband, she could well turn to the
> 
> The text of the Tablet reads as follows:
> 
> Hold thy husband dear and always show forth an amiable temper towards him,
> no matter how ill-tempered he may be. Even if thy loving-kindness maketh him more
> bitter, manifest thou more kindliness, more tenderness, be more loving and tolerate
> his annoying and offensive behaviour.
> Family Life                                                                         March 2008
> Page 16
> 
> Local Spiritual Assembly for advice and guidance, and might also find it highly
> advantageous to seek the assistance of competent professional counsellors. If the
> husband is also a Bahá’í, the Local Spiritual Assembly can bring to his attention the
> need to avoid abusive behaviour and can, if necessary, take firmer measures to
> compel him to conform to the admonitions of the teachings.
> (From a memorandum dated 20 March 2002 written by the Universal House
> of Justice)                                                                      [38]
> Family Life                                                                              March 2008
> Page 17
> 
> II. Parent-Child Relationships and Responsibilities
> 
> Extracts from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh
> 
> It is the bounden duty of parents to rear their children to be staunch in faith, the reason
> being that a child who removeth himself from the religion of God will not act in such a way as to
> win the good pleasure of his parents and his Lord. For every praiseworthy deed is born out of the
> light of religion, and lacking this supreme bestowal the child will not turn away from any evil,
> nor will he draw nigh unto any good.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                              [39]
> 
> And in another Tablet, these exalted words have been revealed: O Muḥammad! The
> Ancient of Days hath turned His countenance towards thee, making mention of thee, and
> exhorting the people of God to educate their children. Should a father neglect this most weighty
> commandment … he shall forfeit rights of fatherhood, and be accounted guilty before God. Well
> is it with him who imprinteth on his heart the admonitions of the Lord, and steadfastly cleaveth
> unto them. God, in truth, enjoineth on His servants what shall assist and profit them, and enable
> them to draw nigh unto Him. He is the Ordainer, the Everlasting.
> (The Kitáb-i-Aqdas: The Most Holy Book, Questions and Answers,
> number 105)                                                                     [40]
> 
> The fruits that best befit the tree of human life are trustworthiness and godliness, truthfulness and
> sincerity; but greater than all, after recognition of the unity of God, praised and glorified be He, is
> regard for the rights that are due to one’s parents. This teaching hath been mentioned in all the
> Books of God, and reaffirmed by the Most Exalted Pen. Consider that which the Merciful Lord
> hath revealed in the Qur’án, exalted are His words: “Worship ye God, join with Him no peer or
> likeness; and show forth kindliness and charity towards your parents…” Observe how loving-
> kindness to one’s parents hath been linked to recognition of the one true God! Happy they who
> are endued with true wisdom and understanding, who see and perceive, who read and understand,
> and who observe that which God hath revealed in the Holy Books of old, and in this
> incomparable and wondrous Tablet.
> (The Kitáb-i-Aqdas: The Most Holy Book, Questions and Answers,
> number 106)                                                                        [41]
> 
> The Pen of Glory counselleth everyone regarding the instruction and education of
> children. Behold that which the Will of God hath revealed upon Our arrival in the Prison City
> and recorded in the Most Holy Book.4 Unto every father hath been enjoined the instruction of
> his son and daughter in the art of reading and writing and in all that hath been laid down in the
> Holy Tablet. He that putteth away that which is commanded unto him, the Trustees are then to
> 
> The Kitáb-i-Aqdas
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 18
> 
> take from him that which is required for their instruction, if he be wealthy, and if not the matter
> devolveth upon the House of Justice.
> (Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh revealed after the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Wilmette: Bahá’í
> Publishing Trust, 1988), page 128)                                                [42]
> 
> That which is of paramount importance for the children, that which must precede all else, is
> to teach them the oneness of God and the laws of God. For lacking this, the fear of God cannot
> be inculcated, and lacking the fear of God an infinity of odious and abominable actions will
> spring up, and sentiments will be uttered that transgress all bounds….
> 
> The parents must exert every effort to rear their offspring to be religious, for should the
> children not attain this greatest of adornments, they will not obey their parents, which in a certain
> sense means that they will not obey God. Indeed, such children will show no consideration to
> anyone, and will do exactly as they please.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                               [43]
> 
> Say, O My people! Show honour to your parents and pay homage to them. This will cause
> blessings to descend upon you from the clouds of the bounty of your Lord, the Exalted, the Great.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic)                                     [44]
> 
> One of the distinguishing characteristics of this most great Dispensation is that the kin of
> such as have recognized and embraced the truth of this Revelation and have, in the glory of His
> name, the Sovereign Lord, quaffed the choice, sealed wine from the chalice of the love of the one
> true God, will, upon their death, if they are outwardly non-believers, be graciously invested with
> divine forgiveness and partake of the ocean of His Mercy.
> 
> This bounty, however, will be vouchsafed only to such souls as have inflicted no harm
> upon Him Who is the Sovereign Truth nor upon His loved ones. Thus hath it been ordained by
> Him Who is the Lord of the Throne on High and the Ruler of this world and of the world to come.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                          [45]
> 
> Extracts from the Writings and Utterances of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> 
> O ye my two beloved children! The news of your union, as soon as it reached me, imparted
> infinite joy and gratitude. Praise be to God, those two faithful birds have sought shelter in one
> nest. I beseech God that He may enable them to raise an honoured family, for the importance of
> marriage lieth in the bringing up of a richly blessed family, so that with entire gladness they may,
> even as candles, illuminate the world. For the enlightenment of the world dependeth upon the
> existence of man. If man did not exist in this world, it would have been like a tree without fruit.
> My hope is that you both may become even as one tree, and may, through the outpourings of the
> cloud of loving-kindness, acquire freshness and charm, and may blossom and yield fruit, so that
> your line may eternally endure.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 88.1)                     [46]
> Family Life                                                                               March 2008
> Page 19
> 
> Were there no educator, all souls would remain savage, and were it not for the teacher, the
> children would be ignorant creatures.
> 
> It is for this reason that, in this new cycle, education and training are recorded in the Book
> of God as obligatory and not voluntary. That is, it is enjoined upon the father and mother, as a
> duty, to strive with all effort to train the daughter and the son, to nurse them from the breast of
> knowledge and to rear them in the bosom of sciences and arts. Should they neglect this matter,
> they shall be held responsible and worthy of reproach in the presence of the stern Lord.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 98.1 and 98.2)            [47]
> 
> Ye should consider the question of goodly character as of the first importance. It is
> incumbent upon every father and mother to counsel their children over a long period, and guide
> them unto those things which lead to everlasting honour.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 108.1)                 [48]
> 
> Let the mothers consider that whatever concerneth the education of children is of the first
> importance. Let them put forth every effort in this regard, for when the bough is green and tender
> it will grow in whatever way ye train it. Therefore is it incumbent upon the mothers to rear their
> little ones even as a gardener tendeth his young plants. Let them strive by day and by night to
> establish within their children faith and certitude, the fear of God, the love of the Beloved of the
> worlds, and all good qualities and traits. Whensoever a mother seeth that her child hath done
> well, let her praise and applaud him and cheer his heart; and if the slightest undesirable trait
> should manifest itself, let her counsel the child and punish him, and use means based on reason,
> even a slight verbal chastisement should this be necessary. It is not, however, permissible to
> strike a child, or vilify him, for the child’s character will be totally perverted if he be subjected
> to blows or verbal abuse.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 95.2)                        [49]
> 
> While the children are yet in their infancy feed them from the breast of heavenly grace, foster
> them in the cradle of all excellence, rear them in the embrace of bounty. Give them the advantage
> of every useful kind of knowledge. Let them share in every new and rare and wondrous craft and
> art. Bring them up to work and strive, and accustom them to hardship. Teach them to dedicate
> their lives to matters of great import, and inspire them to undertake studies that will benefit
> mankind.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 102.3)                   [50]
> 
> If thou wouldst show kindness and consideration to thy parents so that they may feel generally
> pleased, this would also please Me, for parents must be highly respected and it is essential that
> they should feel contented, provided they deter thee not from gaining access to the Threshold of
> the Almighty, nor keep thee back from walking in the way of the Kingdom. Indeed it behoveth
> them to encourage and spur thee on in this direction.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                        [51]
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 20
> 
> Also a father and mother endure the greatest troubles and hardships for their children; and
> often when the children have reached the age of maturity, the parents pass on to the other world.
> Rarely does it happen that a father and mother in this world see the reward of the care and trouble
> they have undergone for their children. Therefore, children, in return for this care and trouble,
> must show forth charity and beneficence, and must implore pardon and forgiveness for their
> parents. So you ought, in return for the love and kindness shown you by your father, to give to
> the poor for his sake, with greatest submission and humility implore pardon and remission of
> sins, and ask for the supreme mercy.
> (Some Answered Questions (Wilmette: Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1984), pages
> 231 and 232)                                                                      [52]
> 
> Regarding thy question about consultation of a father with his son, or a son with his father, in
> matters of trade and commerce, consultation is one of the fundamental elements of the foundation
> of the Law of God. Such consultation is assuredly acceptable, whether between father and son, or
> with others. There is nothing better than this. Man must consult in all things for this will lead him
> to the depths of each problem and enable him to find the right solution.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                         [53]
> 
> O dear one of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá! Be the son of thy father and be the fruit of that tree. Be a son
> that hath been born of his soul and heart and not only of water and clay. A real son is such a one
> as hath branched from the spiritual part of man. I ask God that thou mayest be at all times
> confirmed and strengthened.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 117.1)                    [54]
> 
> The father must always endeavour to educate his son and to acquaint him with the heavenly
> teachings. He must give him advice and exhort him at all times, teach him praiseworthy conduct
> and character, enable him to receive training at school and to be instructed in such arts and
> sciences as are deemed useful and necessary. In brief, let him instil into his mind the virtues and
> perfections of the world of humanity. Above all he should continually call to his mind the
> remembrance of God so that his throbbing veins and arteries may pulsate with the love of God.
> 
> The son, on the other hand, must show forth the utmost obedience towards his father, and
> should conduct himself as a humble and a lowly servant. Day and night he should seek diligently
> to ensure the comfort and welfare of his loving father and to secure his good pleasure. He must
> forgo his own rest and enjoyment and constantly strive to bring gladness to the hearts of his father
> and mother, that thereby he may attain the good pleasure of the Almighty and be graciously aided
> by the hosts of the unseen.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                        [55]
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 21
> 
> Among the safeguards of the Holy Faith is the training of children, and this is among the
> weightiest of principles in all the Divine Teachings. Thus from the very beginning mothers must
> rear their infants in the cradle of good morals—for it is the mothers who are the first educators—
> so that, when the child cometh to maturity, he will prove to be endowed with all the virtues and
> qualities that are worthy of praise.
> 
> And further, according to the Divine commandments, every child must learn reading and
> writing, and acquire such branches of knowledge as are useful and necessary, as well as learning
> an art or skill. The utmost care must be devoted to these matters; any neglect of them, any failure
> to act on them, is not permissible.
> 
> Observe how many penal institutions, houses of detention and places of torture are made
> ready to receive the sons of men, the purpose being to prevent them, by punitive measures, from
> committing terrible crimes—whereas this very torment and punishment only increaseth depravity,
> and by such means the desired aim cannot be properly achieved.
> 
> Therefore must the individual be trained from his infancy in such a way that he will never
> undertake to commit a crime, will, rather, direct all his energies to the acquisition of excellence,
> and will look upon the very commission of an evil deed as in itself the harshest of all punishments,
> considering the sinful act itself to be far more grievous than any prison sentence. For it is possible
> so to train the individual that, although crime may not be completely done away with, still it will
> become very rare.
> 
> The purport is this, that to train the character of humankind is one of the weightiest
> commandments of God, and the influence of such training is the same as that which the sun
> exerteth over tree and fruit. Children must be most carefully watched over, protected and trained;
> in such consisteth true parenthood and parental mercy.
> 
> Otherwise, the children will turn into weeds growing wild, and become the cursed, Infernal
> Tree,5 knowing not right from wrong, distinguishing not the highest of human qualities from all
> that is mean and vile; they will be brought up in vainglory, and will be hated of the Forgiving
> Lord.
> 
> Wherefore doth every child, new-risen in the garden of Heavenly love, require the utmost
> training and care.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                          [56]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written on Behalf of Shoghi Effendi
> 
> It is surely a very unfortunate case when the parents and children differ on some grave issues of
> life such as marriage, but the best way is not to flout each other’s opinion nor to discuss it in a
> charged atmosphere but rather try to settle it in an amicable way.
> 
> The Zaqqúm, Qur’án 37:60, 44:43
> Family Life                                                                                 March 2008
> Page 22
> 
> Bahá’u’lláh definitely says that the consent of the parents should be obtained before the
> marriage is sanctioned and that undoubtedly has great wisdom. It will at least detain young
> people from marrying without considering the subject thoroughly. It is in conformity with this
> teaching of the Cause that Shoghi Effendi cabled that the consent of your parents should be
> obtained.
> (From a letter dated 29 May 1929 to two believers)                                [57]
> 
> The Guardian was also made very happy to know that you have been blessed with a child
> whose presence, he feels certain, will contribute to the greater well-being and happiness of you
> both, and to the further enrichment of your Bahá’í family life. He will pray that under your
> loving care and guidance this dear child may grow in body, as well as in spirit, and receive such a
> training as will enable him, later on, to whole-heartedly embrace and serve the Cause. This is
> indeed your most sacred obligation as Bahá’í parents, and upon the manner and degree of its
> fulfilment will assuredly depend the success and happiness of your family life.
> (From a letter dated 21 July 1938 to an individual believer)                      [58]
> 
> As regards your savings: the Guardian would advise you to act with moderation, and while
> he would certainly approve of your desire to contribute generously to the Cause, he would urge
> you at the same time to take into consideration your duties and responsibilities towards your
> parents, who, as you state, are in need of your financial assistance.
> (From a letter dated 10 November 1939 to an individual believer)                 [59]
> 
> The task of bringing up a Bahá’í child, as emphasized time and again in Bahá’í writings, is
> the chief responsibility of the mother, whose unique privilege is indeed to create in her home such
> conditions as would be most conducive to both his material and spiritual welfare and advancement.
> The training which a child first receives through his mother constitutes the strongest foundation
> for his future development, and it should therefore be the paramount concern of your wife … to
> endeavour from now imparting to her new-born son such spiritual training as would enable him
> later on to fully assume and adequately discharge all the responsibilities and duties of Bahá’í life.
> (From a letter dated 16 November 1939 to an individual believer)                   [60]
> 
> With reference to the question of the training of children:6 given the emphasis placed by
> Bahá’u’lláh and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá on the necessity for the parents to train their children while still in
> 
> The incoming letter to the Guardian states:
> 
> Another question, regarding the education of children, has arisen. A few of us who are
> expecting babies are anticipating placing our older children (2½ to 3 years) in … Nursery
> School which is an excellent school, known throughout the country for its fine child guidance
> methods, since we felt we would be inadequate parents for a number of months, and because
> there are no playmates of these children’s ages in our vicinity. The great objection seems to
> be that, according to the Writings, the mother is the most important teacher until the child is 6
> or 7 years old. Naturally, we wish to do what is best and would appreciate your help.
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> 
> their tender age, it would seem preferable that they should receive their first training at home at
> the hand of their mother, rather than be sent to a nursery. Should circumstances, however, compel
> a Bahá’í mother to adopt the latter course there can be no objection.
> (From a letter dated 13 November 1940 to an individual believer)                    [61]
> 
> The question of the training and education of children in case one of the parents is a non-
> Bahá’í is one which solely concerns the parents themselves, who should decide about it the way
> they find best and most conducive to the maintenance of the unity of their family, and to the
> future welfare of their children. Once the child comes of age, however, he should be given full
> freedom to choose his religion, irrespective of the wishes and desires of his parents.
> (From a letter dated 14 December 1940 to a National Spiritual Assembly)            [62]
> 
> Deep as are family ties, we must always remember that the spiritual ties are far deeper; they
> are everlasting and survive death, whereas physical ties, unless supported by spiritual bonds, are
> confined to this life. You should do all in your power, through prayer and example, to open the
> eyes of your family to the Bahá’í Faith, but do not grieve too much over their actions. Turn to
> your Bahá’í brothers and sisters who are living with you in the light of the Kingdom.
> 
> Indeed the believers have not yet fully learned to draw on each other’s love for strength and
> consolation in time of need. The Cause of God is endowed with tremendous powers, and the
> reason the believers do not gain more from it is because they have not learned to fully draw on
> these mighty forces of love and strength and harmony generated by the Faith.
> (From a letter dated 8 May 1942 to an individual believer)                        [63]
> 
> Regarding the Guardian’s statement that pioneering is conditioned upon the consent of parents
> and that it would be necessary for them to concur, you have asked whether this ruling applies
> equally to children who are of age and those who are not. The Guardian’s reply is that the ruling
> applies only to those who have not yet come of age.
> (From a letter translated from the Persian dated 18 January 1943 to a National
> Spiritual Assembly)                                                             [64]
> 
> Bahá’u’lláh has clearly stated the consent of all living parents is required for a Bahá’í
> marriage. This applies whether the parents are Bahá’ís or non-Bahá’ís, divorced for years or not.
> This great law He has laid down to strengthen the social fabric, to knit closer the ties of the home,
> to place a certain gratitude and respect in the hearts of children for those who have given them
> life and sent their souls out on the eternal journey towards their Creator. We Bahá’ís must realize
> that in present-day society the exact opposite process is taking place: young people care less and
> less for their parents’ wishes, divorce is considered a natural right, and obtained on the flimsiest
> and most unwarrantable and shabby pretexts. People separated from each other, especially if one
> of them has had full custody of the children, are only too willing to belittle the importance of the
> partner in marriage also responsible as a parent for bringing those children into this world. The
> Bahá’ís must, through rigid adherence to the Bahá’í laws and teachings, combat these corrosive
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> 
> forces which are so rapidly destroying home life and the beauty of family relationships, and
> tearing down the moral structure of society.
> (From a letter dated 25 October 1947 to a National Spiritual Assembly)           [65]
> 
> Up to the age of fifteen years, children are under the direction of their parents. At the age of
> fifteen, they may declare their Faith as a conviction, and be registered as Bahá’í youth, whether
> the parents are Bahá’ís or not. Children under the age of fifteen, of Bahá’í parents, who wish
> to attend meetings and associate with the friends as Bahá’ís may do so. If non-Bahá’í parents
> permit a child of less than fifteen to attend Bahá’í meetings, and in fact, to be a Bahá’í, this is
> likewise permissible.
> (From a letter dated 23 July 1954 to a National Spiritual Assembly)                   [66]
> 
> If the condition of the health of your parents is such that your presence is really needed,
> then you should not leave them. If, however, there is some other relative who could care for
> them, then you could help with the work in … and aid the friends in establishing the Faith on
> a solid foundation there.
> (From a letter dated 28 October 1955 to an individual believer)                     [67]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written by and on Behalf of the Universal House of Justice
> 
> The Universal House of Justice has received your letter of 23 June 1977 in which you
> express the ardent desire of yourself and your husband to see your children grow as active
> supporters of the Faith, and you ask whether, in view of the responsibilities of Bahá’í parents
> in the pioneering field, the seeming sufferings the children bear as the result of their parents’
> commitments in service to the Cause will somehow be compensated. We have been asked by
> the Universal House of Justice to convey to you the following points.
> 
> In considering this problem it is important to bear in mind the reality of the unity of the
> family, and the children’s part in its activities….
> 
> It should also be realized that a child, from early life, is a conscious and thinking soul, a
> member of his family with his own duties towards it, and is able to make his own sacrifices for
> the Faith in many ways. It is suggested that the children should be made to feel that they are
> given the privilege and opportunity of participating in the decisions as to the services their
> parents are able to offer, thus making their own conscious decision to accept those services with
> consequence for their own lives. Indeed, the children can be led to realize that it is the earnest
> wish of their parents to undertake such services with their children’s whole-hearted support.
> (From a letter dated 23 August 1977 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                                [68]
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> 
> The Universal House of Justice has received your letter mailed 19 February 1982 in which
> you express your ardent desire to fulfil your responsibilities as a mother to guide your children
> aright and enable them to become firm supporters of the Cause of the Blessed Beauty. We are
> asked to convey to you the following points….
> 
> The House of Justice shares your concern that children from homes of devoted Bahá’í
> parents have left the Faith. Unfortunately there have been cases where parents have served the
> Cause to the detriment of the children and the family unit….
> There are many hints in the writings concerning the guidance which parents should give
> their children. Perhaps you have studied A Compilation on Bahá’í Education….
> 
> This compilation contains many references to the importance of family unity. If children
> are raised in homes where the family is happy and united, where thoughts and actions are directed
> to spiritual matters and the progress of the Cause, there is every reason to believe that the children
> will acquire heavenly qualities and become defenders of His Faith.
> 
> It is hoped that the above will offer assistance and reassurance and enable you to approach the
> duties of motherhood with joy and confidence. In parenthood, as in so many fields of endeavour,
> we can but do our best, aware that we shall inevitably fall short of the perfect standards towards
> which we strive, but confident that God will support those who labour in the path of His Faith, will
> answer our prayers and will make good our deficiencies.
> (From a letter dated 29 March 1982 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                             [69]
> 
> The Universal House of Justice has received your letter of 14 September 1982 concerning
> the role of Local Spiritual Assemblies in guiding parents and children in standards of behaviour
> for children at community gatherings, such as Nineteen Day Feasts and Bahá’í Holy Day
> observances.
> 
> …The House of Justice has instructed us to say that children should be trained to understand
> the spiritual significance of the gatherings of the followers of the Blessed Beauty, and to appreciate
> the honour and bounty of being able to take part in them, whatever their outward form may be. It
> is realized that some Bahá’í observances are lengthy and it is difficult for very small children to
> remain quiet for so long. In such cases one or other of the parents may have to miss part of the
> meeting in order to care for the child. The Spiritual Assembly can also perhaps help the parents by
> providing for a children’s observance, suited to their capacities, in a separate room during part of
> the community’s observance. Attendance at the whole of the adult celebration thus becomes a sign
> of growing maturity and a distinction to be earned by good behaviour.
> 
> In any case, the House of Justice points out that parents are responsible for their children
> and should make them behave when they attend Bahá’í meetings. If children persist in creating a
> disturbance they should be taken out of the meeting. This is not merely necessary to ensure the
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> 
> properly dignified conduct of Bahá’í meetings but is an aspect of the training of children in
> courtesy, consideration for others, reverence, and obedience to their parents.
> (From a letter dated 14 October 1982 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to a National Spiritual Assembly)                                     [70]
> 
> No detailed elaboration has been found in the Writings of the points covered in the
> statement by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá which you quoted in your letter; the statement must be perceived in
> the total context of the Tablet from which it was excerpted.7 It gives emphasis to the requisites
> for the training of the young from their earliest years to enable them to meet the challenges of
> adult life and to contribute towards maintaining the norms of a balanced, progressive society;
> and it underscores the serious consequences that may be normally expected if due attention is not
> given to such requisites. In a society wholly regulated by the laws and ordinances brought by
> Bahá’u’lláh it will be easier to appreciate the framework in which these requisites will produce
> their maximum effect.
> 
> ‘Abdu’l-Bahá’s statement, it should be noted, refers to attempts made by others. It does
> not refer to the individual’s own efforts to learn and refine his own character. Fortunately, there
> exist the repeated promises in our sacred writings of the dispensations of God’s mercy which are
> accessible to errant souls, and we have proof from the lives of the heroes of the Faith, as well as
> from those of ordinary people, of the power of one’s faith in God to change behaviour. As you
> know, a principal purpose for the coming of the Manifestation is to transform the character of
> individuals and, through them, the character of society as a whole. Thus He lays down laws
> and ordinances which enable such a broad change to occur; the ideal end is achieved gradually
> through individual struggle, trial and error, and, above all, steadfast faith in God.
> (From a letter dated 4 June 1984 written on behalf of the Universal House of
> Justice to an individual believer)                                                [71]
> 
> With regard to your question whether mothers should work outside the home, it is helpful to
> consider the matter from the perspective of the concept of a Bahá’í family. This concept is based
> on the principle that the man has primary responsibility for the financial support of the family,
> and the woman is the chief and primary educator of the children. This by no means implies that
> these functions are inflexibly fixed and cannot be changed and adjusted to suit particular family
> situations, nor does it mean that the place of the woman is confined to the home. Rather, while
> primary responsibility is assigned, it is anticipated that fathers would play a significant role in
> the education of the children and women could also be breadwinners. As you rightly indicated,
> ‘Abdu’l-Bahá encouraged women to “participate fully and equally in the affairs of the world”.
> 
> In relation to your specific queries, the decision concerning the amount of time a mother
> may spend in working outside the home depends on circumstances existing within the home,
> which may vary from time to time. Family consultation will help to provide the answers. As to
> 
> The statement of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá is as follows: “It is extremely difficult to teach the individual and
> refine his character once puberty is passed.” See Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá,
> paragraph 111.7.
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> 
> the question whether courses of professional training will in future be more flexible, the House of
> Justice points out that future conditions will dictate such matters.
> (From a letter dated 9 August 1984 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                            [72]
> 
> The seeker to whom you refer seems to have misconstrued the Bahá’í teachings about the
> responsibility of the parents for the education of their children. The father certainly has a very
> important role to play. In the Kitáb-i-Aqdas itself, Bahá’u’lláh revealed:
> 
> Unto every father hath been enjoined the instruction of his son and daughter in the
> art of reading and writing and in all that hath been laid down in the Holy Tablet….
> He that bringeth up his son or the son of another, it is as though he hath brought up
> a son of Mine; upon him rest My glory, My loving-kindness, My mercy, that have
> compassed the world.
> 
> The great importance attached to the mother’s role derives from the fact that she is the first
> educator of the child. Her attitude, her prayers, even what she eats and her physical condition
> have a great influence on the child when it is still in the womb. When the child is born, it is she
> who has been endowed by God with the milk which is the first food designed for it, and it is
> intended that, if possible, she should be with the baby to train and nurture it in its earliest days
> and months. This does not mean that the father does not also love, pray for, and care for his baby,
> but as he has the primary responsibility of providing for the family, his time to be with his child is
> usually limited, while the mother is usually closely associated with the baby during this intensely
> formative time when it is growing and developing faster than it ever will again during the whole
> of its life. As the child grows older and more independent, the relative nature of its relationship
> with its mother and father modifies and the father can play a greater role.
> 
> It may be helpful to stress to your seeker that the Bahá’í principle of the equality of men
> and women is clearly stated in the teachings, and the fact that there is diversity of function
> between them in certain areas does not negate this principle.
> (From a letter dated 23 August 1984 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to two believers)                                                       [73]
> 
> The House of Justice recognizes full well the suffering that many women go through as
> single mothers, taking the entire responsibility for raising and supporting their children. The
> purpose of the Bahá’í Faith is to effect a fundamental transformation in the whole basis of human
> society, which will involve the spiritualization of mankind, the achievement of unity in human
> relationships and the acceptance of such vital principles as that of the equality of men and women;
> as a result, the stability of marriage will be enhanced, and there will be a drastic decrease in the
> conditions giving rise to marriage breakdowns. To attain this objective speedily, the Bahá’í
> community must continue to attract the spiritual powers indispensable for its success; this requires
> strict adherence to the principles set out in the Bahá’í teachings, with confidence that the wisdom
> underlying these teachings will gradually become apparent to the generality of mankind.
> (From a letter dated 11 January 1988 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                               [74]
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> 
> The issues you have raised8 are best considered in the light of the Bahá’í teachings
> concerning family relationships. There should be a spirit of mutual respect and consideration
> between parents and children, in which the children turn to their parents for advice and
> direction, and the parents train and nurture their offspring. The fruit of this relationship is that
> the children grow into adulthood with their powers of discrimination and judgement refined, so
> that they can steer the course of their lives in a manner most conducive to their welfare.
> 
> Within the framework of this mutual respect, the parents are called upon to show wisdom
> and discretion when their offspring are developing friendships which might ultimately lead to
> marriage. They should consider carefully the circumstances under which advice should be
> given, and conditions under which their intervention would be construed as interference.
> 
> For their part, the offspring should recognize that their parents are deeply interested in their
> welfare, and that the views of the parents warrant respect and careful consideration.
> 
> As you know, the initial choice of marriage partner is made by the two individuals directly
> involved, and the consent of all living parents is then sought, and is required for the marriage to
> take place.
> 
> In this matter, as in all aspects of human relations, consultation is of great value in
> resolving misunderstandings and in clarifying what is the best course of behaviour in the light of
> the Bahá’í teachings.
> (From a letter dated 25 July 1988 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                            [75]
> 
> Although the mother’s part in the bringing up of the children is very great indeed, we feel
> that it is crucial not to underestimate the importance of the responsibility that the Writings place
> upon the father in this area. There is a current tendency for fathers to leave the education of
> children to their mothers to an entirely unjustifiable degree, and we would not wish the
> impression to be given that the Bahá’í teachings confirm such an attitude.
> (From a memorandum dated 28 February 1989 written by Universal House
> of Justice)                                                                       [76]
> 
> Teaching the Cause is undoubtedly the most meritorious of all deeds, and the friends are
> doubly blessed when they combine teaching with pioneering. Attending to the needs of the family
> is also of paramount spiritual importance, and it is not permissible to ignore the development of
> the family so as to serve the Faith in a particular way. Teaching the Faith and meeting the needs
> of the family must both be regarded as high on the scale of service to God, but the particular
> circumstances of a family determine the degree to which each must be dealt with. It is inevitable
> that the children of pioneers are called upon to share the sacrifices of their parents when they
> 
> Concerning parental consent
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> 
> move to a foreign field, just as the children of Bahá’u’lláh and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá shared Their
> sacrifices. But it should not be forgotten that the children also partake of the spiritual blessings
> and rewards of pioneering.
> (From a letter dated 8 February 1990 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                               [77]
> 
> You have raised several questions about the treatment of children. It is clear from the
> Bahá’í Writings that a vital component of the education of children is the exercise of discipline.
> Shoghi Effendi has stated, in a letter written on his behalf about the education of children, that:
> 
> Discipline of some sort, whether physical, moral or intellectual is indeed
> indispensable, and no training can be said to be complete and fruitful if it disregards
> this element. The child when born is far from being perfect. It is not only helpless,
> but actually is imperfect, and even is naturally inclined towards evil. He should be
> trained, his natural inclinations harmonized, adjusted and controlled, and if necessary
> suppressed or regulated, so as to ensure his healthy physical and moral development.
> Bahá’í parents cannot simply adopt an attitude of non-resistance towards their
> children, particularly those who are unruly and violent by nature. It is not even
> sufficient that they should pray on their behalf. Rather they should endeavour to
> inculcate, gently and patiently, into their youthful minds such principles of moral
> conduct and initiate them into the principles and teachings of the Cause with such
> tactful and loving care as would enable them to become “true sons of God” and
> develop into loyal and intelligent citizens of His Kingdom….
> 
> While the physical discipline of children is an acceptable part of their education and
> training, such actions are to be carried out “gently and patiently” and with “loving care”, far
> removed from the anger and violence with which children are beaten and abused in some parts of
> the world. To treat children in such an abhorrent manner is a denial of their human rights, and a
> betrayal of the trust which the weak should have in the strong in a Bahá’í community.
> 
> It is difficult to imagine a more reprehensible perversion of human conduct than the sexual
> abuse of children, which finds its most debased form in incest. At a time in the fortunes of
> humanity when, in the words of the Guardian, “The perversion of human nature, the degradation of
> human conduct, the corruption and dissolution of human institutions, reveal themselves … in their
> worst and most revolting aspects,” and when “the voice of human conscience is stilled,” when “the
> sense of decency and shame is obscured,” the Bahá’í institutions must be uncompromising and
> vigilant in their commitment to the protection of the children entrusted to their care, and must not
> allow either threats or appeals to expediency to divert them from their duty. A parent who is aware
> that the marriage partner is subjecting a child to such sexual abuse should not remain silent, but
> must take all necessary measures, with the assistance of the Spiritual Assembly or civil authorities
> if necessary, to bring about an immediate cessation of such grossly immoral behaviour, and to
> promote healing and therapy.
> 
> Bahá’u’lláh has placed great emphasis on the duties of parents toward their children, and
> He has urged children to have gratitude in their hearts for their parents, whose good pleasure they
> should strive to win as a means of pleasing God Himself. However, He has indicated that under
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> 
> certain circumstances, the parents could be deprived of the right of parenthood as a consequence
> of their actions. The Universal House of Justice has the right to legislate on this matter. It has
> decided for the present that all cases should be referred to it in which the conduct or character of a
> parent appears to render him unworthy of having such parental rights as that of giving consent to
> marriage. Such questions could arise, for example, when a parent has committed incest, or when
> the child was conceived as a consequence of rape, and also when a parent consciously fails to
> protect the child from flagrant sexual abuse.
> (From a letter dated 24 January 1993 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                             [78]
> 
> …Although Bahá’í children do not automatically inherit the Faith of their parents, the parents
> are responsible for the upbringing and spiritual welfare of their children. Bahá’í parents must
> therefore strive to convey to their children from their earliest days an awareness of God and
> love for Him, and must endeavour to guide the children into wholehearted obedience to the
> exhortations, ordinances and laws of Bahá’u’lláh. Among these is the recognition of and love for
> all the Manifestations of God, association with the followers of all religions, friendship towards
> all human beings, and the importance of the independent investigation of truth. It is natural,
> therefore, to regard the children of Bahá’ís as Bahá’í unless there is a reason to conclude the
> contrary. With such a basis of knowledge and understanding each child will be better equipped to
> think clearly and judge for himself as to what course he should follow upon reaching the age of
> maturity or in his adult life.
> (From a letter dated 26 January 1994 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                            [79]
> 
> There are many passages in the Sacred Writings that emphasize the importance of family
> unity, and the great responsibility that children have toward their parents and parents toward their
> children. In this regard, Bahá’ís are indeed called to be obedient to their parents….
> 
> One of the most important principles of the Faith, however, is the principle of moderation
> in all things. Even virtues, if they are carried to excess and are not balanced by other,
> complementary virtues, can cause untold harm. For example, a child should not be expected to
> obey a parent’s instruction to commit a sin. There is a danger, furthermore, in aggrandizing any
> single law in isolation either from the fundamental principles that underlie it or from other laws.
> As explained by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, the unity of the family is of critical importance, but must be
> balanced against the rights of each member of the family:
> 
> According to the teachings of Bahá’u’lláh the family, being a human unit, must be
> educated according to the rules of sanctity. All the virtues must be taught the family.
> The integrity of the family bond must be constantly considered, and the rights of the
> individual members must not be transgressed. The rights of the son, the father, the
> mother—none of them must be transgressed, none of them must be arbitrary. Just
> as the son has certain obligations to his father, the father, likewise, has certain
> obligations to his son. The mother, the sister and other members of the household
> have their certain prerogatives. All these rights and prerogatives must be conserved,
> yet the unity of the family must be sustained. The injury of one shall be considered
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> 
> the injury of all; the comfort of each, the comfort of all; the honour of one, the
> honour of all.
> (The Promulgation of Universal Peace: Talks Delivered by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá during
> His Visit to the United States and Canada in 1912, Second Edition (Wilmette:
> Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1982), page 168)
> 
> Another fundamental principle that should influence a Bahá’í’s understanding of and
> approach to the requirement to be obedient to parents is the exhortation to consult in all things.
> According to ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, consultation is, in fact, “one of the fundamental elements of the
> foundation of the Law of God.” If, through consultation, a child and parent can deepen their
> understanding of each other’s viewpoint and achieve unity of thought and purpose, then conflicts
> over obedience can be avoided.
> 
> With respect to your discussion of the relationship between obedience to parents on the one
> hand and individual self-expression, freedom, and spiritual growth on the other, the House of
> Justice suggests an alternative understanding for your consideration. Although individual persons
> are responsible for their own actions and spiritual development, individuals do not exist in
> isolation, but as parts of families and communities. Deciding to forgo one’s personal wishes in
> deference to one’s parents—or to the institutions of the Faith, civil authorities, or the law for that
> matter—represents an expression of free will, not a curtailment of it. By choosing to obey, a
> child can contribute to unity of the family and thereby further the Cause of God.
> (From a letter dated 24 September 1997 written on behalf of Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                               [80]
> 
> Our children need to be nurtured spiritually and to be integrated into the life of the Cause. They
> should not be left to drift in a world so laden with moral dangers. In the current state of society,
> children face a cruel fate. Millions and millions in country after country are dislocated socially.
> Children find themselves alienated by parents and other adults whether they live in conditions of
> wealth or poverty. This alienation has its roots in a selfishness that is born of materialism that is
> at the core of the godlessness seizing the hearts of people everywhere. The social dislocation of
> children in our time is a sure mark of a society in decline; this condition is not, however, confined
> to any race, class, nation or economic condition—it cuts across them all. It grieves our hearts
> to realize that in so many parts of the world children are employed as soldiers, exploited as
> labourers, sold into virtual slavery, forced into prostitution, made the objects of pornography,
> abandoned by parents centred on their own desires, and subjected to other forms of victimization
> too numerous to mention. Many such horrors are inflicted by the parents themselves upon their
> own children. The spiritual and psychological damage defies estimation. Our worldwide
> community cannot escape the consequences of these conditions. This realization should spur
> us all to urgent and sustained effort in the interests of children and the future….
> 
> Children are the most precious treasure a community can possess, for in them are the
> promise and guarantee of the future. They bear the seeds of the character of future society which
> is largely shaped by what the adults constituting the community do or fail to do with respect to
> children. They are a trust no community can neglect with impunity. An all-embracing love of
> children, the manner of treating them, the quality of the attention shown them, the spirit of adult
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> 
> behaviour toward them—these are all among the vital aspects of the requisite attitude. Love
> demands discipline, the courage to accustom children to hardship, not to indulge their whims
> or leave them entirely to their own devices. An atmosphere needs to be maintained in which
> children feel that they belong to the community and share in its purpose. They must lovingly but
> insistently be guided to live up to Bahá’í standards, to study and teach the Cause in ways that are
> suited to their circumstances….
> 
> And now we wish to address a few words to parents, who bear the primary responsibility
> for the upbringing of their children. We appeal to them to give constant attention to the spiritual
> education of their children. Some parents appear to think that this is the exclusive responsibility
> of the community; others believe that in order to preserve the independence of children to
> investigate truth, the Faith should not be taught to them. Still others feel inadequate to take on
> such a task. None of this is correct. The beloved Master has said that “it is enjoined upon the
> father and mother, as a duty, to strive with all effort to train the daughter and the son,” adding
> that, “should they neglect this matter, they shall be held responsible and worthy of reproach in
> the presence of the stern Lord.” Independent of the level of their education, parents are in a
> critical position to shape the spiritual development of their children. They should not ever
> underestimate their capacity to mould their children’s moral character. For they exercise
> indispensable influence through the home environment they consciously create by their love
> of God, their striving to adhere to His laws, their spirit of service to His Cause, their lack of
> fanaticism, and their freedom from the corrosive effects of backbiting. Every parent who is a
> believer in the Blessed Beauty has the responsibility to conduct herself or himself in such a way
> as to elicit the spontaneous obedience to parents to which the Teachings attach so high a value.
> Of course, in addition to the efforts made at home, the parents should support Bahá’í children’s
> classes provided by the community. It must be borne in mind, too, that children live in a world
> that informs them of harsh realities through direct experience with the horrors already described
> or through the unavoidable outpourings of the mass media. Many of them are thereby forced to
> mature prematurely, and among these are those who look for standards and discipline by which to
> guide their lives. Against this gloomy backdrop of a decadent society, Bahá’í children should
> shine as the emblems of a better future.
> (From the Riḍván 2000 message of the Universal House of Justice to the
> Bahá’ís of the world)                                                              [81]
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> Page 33
> 
> III. Enhancing Family Life
> 
> Extracts from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh
> 
> Blessed is the house that hath attained unto My tender mercy, wherein My remembrance
> is celebrated, and which is ennobled by the presence of My loved ones, who have proclaimed
> My praise, cleaved fast to the cord of My grace and been honoured by chanting My verses.
> Verily they are the exalted servants whom God hath extolled in the Qayyúmu’l-Asmá’ and other
> scriptures. Verily He is the All-Hearing, the Answerer, He Who perceiveth all things.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic)                                    [82]
> 
> The beginning of magnanimity is when man expendeth his wealth on himself, on his
> family and on the poor among his brethren in his Faith.
> 
> The essence of wealth is love for Me; whoso loveth Me is the possessor of all things, and
> he that loveth Me not is indeed of the poor and needy. This is that which the Finger of Glory
> and Splendour hath revealed.
> (Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh revealed after the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (Wilmette: Bahá’í
> Publishing Trust, 1988), page 156)                                            [83]
> 
> There can be no doubt that whatsoever hath been revealed from the All-Glorious Pen, be
> it ordinances or prohibitions, conferreth benefits upon the believers themselves. For example,
> among the commandments is that of the Ḥuqúqu’lláh. If the people attain the privilege of paying
> the Ḥuqúq, the one true God—exalted be His glory—will of a certainty confer blessing upon
> them. Moreover, such payment will enable them and their offspring to benefit from their
> possessions. As thou dost observe, large portions of people’s wealth are lost to them as God
> causeth strangers, or heirs in comparison with whom strangers would have been preferable, to
> lay hands on their possessions.
> 
> God’s consummate wisdom is far beyond any description or fitting mention. Verily, people
> see with their own eyes and yet deny; they are aware, yet they pretend not to know. Had they
> observed the ordinance of God they would have attained the good of this world and the next.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic and Persian)                          [84]
> 
> Extracts from the Writings and Utterances of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> 
> I beseech God to graciously make of thy home a centre for the diffusion of the light of
> divine guidance, for the dissemination of the Words of God and for enkindling at all times the fire
> of love in the hearts of His faithful servants and maidservants. Know thou of a certainty that
> every house wherein the anthem of praise is raised to the Realm of Glory in celebration of the
> Name of God is indeed a heavenly home, and one of the gardens of delight in the Paradise of
> God.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Arabic)                                        [85]
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> 
> If love and agreement are manifest in a single family, that family will advance, become
> illumined and spiritual; but if enmity and hatred exist within it, destruction and dispersion are
> inevitable.
> (The Promulgation of Universal Peace: Talks Delivered by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá during
> His Visit to the United States and Canada in 1912, Revised Edition (Wilmette:
> Bahá’í Publishing Trust, 1982), pages 144 and 145)                                 [86]
> 
> Compare the nations of the world to the members of a family. A family is a nation in miniature.
> Simply enlarge the circle of the household, and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations,
> and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The
> happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation. Would it add to the progress
> and advancement of a family if dissensions should arise among its members, all fighting, pillaging
> each other, jealous and revengeful of injury, seeking selfish advantage? Nay, this would be the
> cause of the effacement of progress and advancement. So it is in the great family of nations, for
> nations are but an aggregate of families. Therefore, as strife and dissension destroy a family and
> prevent its progress, so nations are destroyed and advancement hindered.
> (The Promulgation of Universal Peace: Talks Delivered by ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> during His Visit to the United States and Canada in 1912, page 157)               [87]
> 
> Treat all thy friends and relatives, even strangers, with a spirit of utmost love and
> kindliness.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                          [88]
> 
> Be thou not unhappy; the tempest of sorrow shall pass; regret will not last; disappointment
> will vanish; the fire of the love of God will become enkindled, and the thorns and briars of
> sadness and despondency will be consumed! Be thou happy; rest thou assured upon the favours
> of Bahá, so that uncertainty and hesitation may become non-existent and the invisible
> outpourings descend upon the arena of being!…
> 
> If the friends and relatives are keeping themselves at a distance from thee, be thou not sad,
> for God is near to thee. Associate thou, as much as thou canst, with the relatives and strangers;
> display thou loving kindness; show thou forth the utmost patience and resignation. The more
> they oppose thee, shower thou upon them the greater justice and equity; the more they show
> hatred and opposition toward thee, challenge thou them with great truthfulness, friendship and
> reconciliation.
> (Tablets of Abdul-Baha Abbas (New York: Bahá’í Publishing Committee),
> volume III, pages 557 and 558)                                                    [89]
> 
> O ye kind brothers who tread the path of God! Render thanks to Him that ye have
> combined both physical and spiritual brotherhood, that your inner reality hath become even
> as the outer, and that your outer reality hath come to express the inner. The sweetness of this
> brotherhood regaleth the soul and the savour of this kinship delighteth the heart. Praise ye God
> that, even as thankful birds, ye have built your nests in His gardens. And so will ye nestle
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> 
> together hereafter, in the rose-garden of the All-Merciful in the Abhá Kingdom, upon the
> branches of the divine Lote-Tree. For ye are birds of the meadow of guidance and the
> nightingales of the bower of bounty. What a stupendous grace, what a mighty bestowal is this!
> Render thanks, then, unto God for this abounding grace and glorious attainment.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                     [90]
> 
> Diffuse the glad-tidings of the Kingdom far and wide to the ears, promulgate the Word of God,
> and put into practice the advices and covenants of God; that is, arise ye with such qualities and
> attributes that ye may continually bestow life to the body of the world, and nurse the infants of
> the universe up to the station of maturity and perfection. Enkindle with all your might in every
> meeting the light of the love of God, gladden and cheer every heart with the utmost loving-
> kindness, show forth your love to the strangers just as you show forth to your relations. If a soul
> is seeking to quarrel, ask ye for reconciliation; if he blame ye, praise [him]; if he give you a
> deadly poison, bestow ye an all-healing antidote; if he createth death, administer ye eternal life;
> if he becometh a thorn, change ye into roses and hyacinths. Perchance, through such deeds
> and words, this darkened world will become illuminated, this terrestrial universe will become
> transformed into a heavenly realm, and this satanic prison become a divine court; warfare and
> bloodshed be annihilated, and love and faithfulness hoist the tent of unity upon the apex of the
> world.
> (Tablets of Abdul-Baha Abbas, volume III, pages 503 and 504)                       [91]
> 
> Every imperfect soul is self-centred and thinketh only of his own good. But as his
> thoughts expand a little he will begin to think of the welfare and comfort of his family. If
> his ideas still more widen, his concern will be the felicity of his fellow citizens; and if still
> they widen, he will be thinking of the glory of his land and of his race. But when ideas and
> views reach the utmost degree of expansion and attain the stage of perfection, then will he be
> interested in the exaltation of humankind. He will then be the well-wisher of all men and the
> seeker of the weal and prosperity of all lands. This is indicative of perfection.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraph 34.2)                      [92]
> 
> O Lord! In this Most Great Dispensation Thou dost accept the intercession of children
> in behalf of their parents. This is one of the special infinite bestowals of this Dispensation.
> Therefore, O Thou kind Lord, accept the request of this Thy servant at the threshold of Thy
> singleness and submerge his father in the ocean of Thy grace, because this son hath arisen to
> render Thee service and is exerting effort at all times in the pathway of Thy love. Verily, Thou art
> the Giver, the Forgiver and the Kind!
> (Bahá’í Prayers: A Selection of Prayers Revealed by Bahá’u’lláh, the Báb,
> and ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, page 64)                                                       [93]
> 
> O handmaids of the Merciful! Render ye thanks unto the Ancient Beauty that ye have been
> raised up and gathered together in this mightiest of centuries, this most illumined of ages. As
> befitting thanks for such a bounty, stand ye staunch and strong in the Covenant and, following
> the precepts of God and the holy Law, suckle your children from their infancy with the milk of a
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> 
> universal education, and rear them so that from their earliest days, within their inmost heart, their
> very nature, a way of life will be firmly established that will conform to the divine Teachings in
> all things.
> 
> For mothers are the first educators, the first mentors; and truly it is the mothers who
> determine the happiness, the future greatness, the courteous ways and learning and judgement,
> the understanding and the faith of their little ones.
> (Selections from the Writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá, paragraphs 96.1 and 96.2)          [94]
> 
> O thou who hast newly blossomed in the bower of God’s love! Render thanks unto Him
> that thou hast come into being from the seed of His loved ones, hast been nursed at the breast
> of His love and art being reared in the bosom of His knowledge. It is my ardent wish that thou
> mayest nurture the hopes of thy mother and thy father, grow cyprus-tall in the garden of their
> earnest desires, become the sweet and tender fruit of the tree of their aspirations, engage in
> service to the Word of God, and bring honour and glory to His Cause.
> (From a Tablet translated from the Persian)                                       [95]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written on Behalf of Shoghi Effendi
> 
> A truly Bahá’í home is a true fortress upon which the Cause can rely while planning its campaigns.
> If … and … love each other and would like to marry, Shoghi Effendi does not wish them to think
> that by doing so they are depriving themselves of the privilege of service; in fact such a union will
> enhance their ability to serve. There is nothing more beautiful than to have young Bahá’ís marry
> and found truly Bahá’í homes, the type Bahá’u’lláh wishes them to be.
> (From a letter dated 6 November 1932 to an individual believer)                     [96]
> 
> He was deeply grieved to learn of your family difficulties, of your troubles and anxieties, and he
> would like you not to lose heart, to be patient and confident in the unfailing guidance and help of
> the Almighty. We have all our petty material obstacles in this life. We cannot totally get rid of
> them. The best thing to do, after all our efforts have failed to deliver us, is to concentrate on that
> which can alone bring real happiness and peace to our heart. And you should be thankful to God
> for having enabled you to recognize and accept His Faith. For this is, assuredly, the only source
> of joy and consolation you can have in your moments of suffering. Is there anything more
> worthwhile to work for than the teaching of the Message? This is the Guardian’s advice to you.
> He wishes you to forget, as far as you can, your material difficulties and to fully concentrate on
> the study and the spread of the Teachings. You have the interest, the zeal, the devotion and the
> ability that are required, and it would be a pity if you should fail to make full use of these
> remarkable qualities.
> (From a letter dated 4 October 1933 to an individual believer)                       [97]
> 
> The Guardian wishes me specially to urge you to remain patient and confident, and
> above all to show your husband the utmost kindness and love, in return for all the opposition and
> hatred you receive from him. A conciliatory and friendly attitude in such cases is not only the
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> 
> duty of every Bahá’í but is also the most effective way of winning for the Cause the sympathy
> and admiration of its former foes and enemies. Love is, indeed, a most potent elixir that can
> transform the vilest and meanest of people into heavenly souls. May your example serve to
> further confirm the truth of this beautiful teaching of our Faith.
> (From a letter dated 6 December 1935 to an individual believer)                  [98]
> 
> The Guardian’s message to you is that you should constantly strive to mirror forth in your
> private lives, and also in your social relationships, the beauty, purity and regenerative power of
> the Message of Bahá’u’lláh. The Bahá’í youth of today should be an example to the youth of the
> world, and should therefore live up to the highest standards of conduct. Nothing short of such
> a close, united and concrete adherence to the ideals and teachings of the Faith by every young
> Bahá’í man and woman can impress and attract to it the serious attention and consideration of the
> world outside.
> (From a letter dated 17 March 1937 to a Bahá’í youth group)                         [99]
> 
> The condition you have described prevailing in your family, particularly as it is so seriously
> affecting your brothers and sisters, is certainly most sad, but while there are certain elements in
> the situation which you feel powerless to overcome, you should not give up every hope of
> ameliorating your condition, no matter how gradually. A purely passive attitude can only result
> in causing you fresh disappointments. You should therefore take courage, and as much as your
> means and circumstances permit confidently and persistently endeavour to remedy your family
> condition.
> (From a letter dated 20 February 1940 to an individual believer)                   [100]
> 
> He was sorry to hear that … is in an unhappy state of mind. She should certainly not
> grieve if she finds that her family are not receptive to the Teachings—for not every soul is
> spiritually enlightened. Indeed, many members of the families of the Prophets Themselves have
> remained unconverted even in face of the example and persuasion of the Manifestation of God;
> therefore, the friends should not be distressed by such things but rather leave the future of those
> they love in the hand of God, and by their services and devotion to the Faith, win the right to
> plead for their ultimate spiritual rebirth.
> (From a letter dated 9 March 1942 to an individual believer)                      [101]
> 
> A marriage between two souls, alive to the Message of God in this day, dedicated to the
> service of His Cause, working for the good of humanity, can be a potent force in the lives of
> others and an example and inspiration to other Bahá’ís, as well as to non-believers.
> (From a letter dated 4 August 1943 to two believers)                              [102]
> 
> The Guardian deeply regrets the hostile attitude of some members of your family towards
> the Cause you have arisen to serve, and he feels that you should do everything in your power to
> avoid antagonizing them—short, of course, of giving up your Faith and becoming inactive in it.
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> 
> As you cannot induce them to be interested in it, the best thing to do is what the Master
> always advised in such cases: leave them to themselves, and pray for them. The Guardian, you
> may be sure, will also pray for their illumination. Many people have, after bitterly opposing the
> Faith, been eventually won over by the patience, love, tact and prayers of their Bahá’í relative or
> friend.
> (From a letter dated 14 October 1943 to an individual believer)                   [103]
> 
> He feels you should by all means show your husband the greatest love and sympathy; if
> we are ever in any doubt as to how we should conduct ourselves as Bahá’ís we should think
> of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá and study His life and ask ourselves what would He have done, for He is our
> perfect example in every way. And you know how tender He was, and how His affection and
> kindness shone like sunlight on everyone.
> 
> Your husband and your child have a right to your love, and give you a wonderful
> opportunity of demonstrating your faith in the Cause.
> 
> Also you should pray to Bahá’u’lláh to help unite you with your husband and make your
> home a true and happy home.
> (From a letter dated 9 March 1946 to an individual believer)                [104]
> 
> He feels, in regard to your family problems, that you should take these matters up with
> your Assembly, if you desire advice; one of the duties of these Assemblies is to advise and aid the
> friends, and it is your privilege to turn to your Assembly.
> (From a letter dated 10 April 1947 to a Bahá’í couple)                           [105]
> 
> The Guardian has long felt that the … Bahá’ís are not, in some cases, living up to the ideal
> of marriage set forth by Bahá’u’lláh. They are prone to being influenced by the current light and
> selfish attitude of the people towards the marriage bond. Consequently when he sees you are
> successfully living up to the Bahá’í standard, putting your best into it and preserving this sacred
> tie you have with your husband, he is very happy indeed. He hopes you will be in a position to be
> an example to others. For he disapproves of the way some Bahá’ís, in the name of serving the
> Cause, disencumber themselves of their husbands, or go and get new ones!
> (From a letter dated 2 April 1950 to an individual believer)                      [106]
> 
> The Guardian will pray that your mother may become a Bahá’í, and very actively serve the
> Cause of God. It should be borne in mind that by your leading a consecrated Bahá’í life, your
> mother will be affected perhaps as much or more than by reading and studying. When one sees
> the effect of the Bahá’í Teachings on another person’s life, that very often has a very great effect.
> (From a letter dated 12 July 1952 to an individual believer)                      [107]
> 
> The fulfilment of our personal ambitions in life is very seldom what brings us happiness.
> On the contrary, it usually arouses an entire group of new ambitions. On the other hand, when we
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> 
> immerse ourselves in our duties both as human beings, to our families and our associates, and as
> Bahá’ís toward the Cause of God and serving it to the best of our ability in the circumstances in
> which we find ourselves, we begin to know what happiness means.
> (From a letter dated 23 May 1956 to an individual believer)                      [108]
> 
> The Guardian will pray for you, your children, and your dear husband. Now that you all
> are united in the Faith of God, and work happily together, surely the divine benedictions will
> reach you, and the confirmations of the Holy Spirit bless your work. The magnet which attracts
> the Holy Spirit is service in the Cause of God, and particularly teaching His glorious Faith. The
> Guardian will pray that each and every member of your family will be a brilliant star in the
> firmament of God’s good pleasure. Study of the Word, Meditation on its divine import, prayer,
> and then action are necessary. And then, perseverance in action. If these steps are followed, one
> will develop spiritually, and be victorious in service to the Cause of God.
> (From a letter dated 5 June 1956 to an individual believer)                      [109]
> 
> You should create in your home with your family such a spirit of Bahá’í love as will bring
> your wife truly into the Faith and attract your children to it…. To have harmony in the home is
> the most important thing for your children.
> (From a letter dated 15 August 1957 to an individual believer)                 [110]
> 
> Extracts from Letters Written by and on Behalf of the Universal House of Justice
> 
> Among the more salient objectives to be attained by the Local Spiritual Assembly in its
> process of development to full maturity are to act as a loving shepherd to the Bahá’í flock,
> promote unity and concord among the friends, direct the teaching work, protect the Cause of God,
> arrange for Feasts, Anniversaries and regular meetings of the community, familiarize the Bahá’ís
> with its plans, invite the community to offer its recommendations, promote the welfare of youth
> and children, and participate, as circumstances permit, in humanitarian activities. In its
> relationship to the individual believer, the Assembly should continuously invite and encourage
> him to study the Faith, to deliver its glorious message, to live in accordance with its teachings, to
> contribute freely and regularly to the Fund, to participate in community activities, and to seek
> refuge in the Assembly for advice and help, when needed.
> (From a letter dated 30 July 1972 written by the Universal House of Justice to
> a National Spiritual Assembly)                                                    [111]
> 
> As you well know, Bahá’u’lláh has stated: “The Ḥuqúq is indeed a weighty commandment.
> It is incumbent upon all to make this offering because it is a source of prosperity, of blessings and
> abundance. This is a bounty which will remain with every soul in every world of the worlds of
> God, the Lord of wealth and generosity.” The devoted believer who is privileged to pay “the right
> of God”, far from seeking excuses for evading this spiritual obligation, will do his utmost to meet
> it. On the other hand, inasmuch as obedience to this Law is a matter of conscience, and payment
> of Ḥuqúqu’lláh is a voluntary act, it would not be seemly to go beyond informing the … friends of
> their spiritual obligation, and leaving to them to decide what they wish to do about it.
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> 
> The same principle applies to those friends who spend lavishly on their families, who
> purchase or build residences and furnish them far in excess of their needs, and rationalize these
> expenditures in their desire to avoid payment of Ḥuqúqu’lláh.
> (From a letter dated 26 February 1973 written by the Universal House of Justice to
> an individual believer)                                                         [112]
> 
> The proper education of children is of vital importance to the progress of mankind, and the
> heart and essential foundation of all education is spiritual and moral training. When we teach our
> fellow-men the truths and way of life of the Bahá’í Faith we have to struggle against barriers of
> indifference, materialism, superstition and a multitude of erroneous preconceptions; but in our
> new-born children we are presented with pure souls, untarnished by the world. As they grow they
> will face countless tests and difficulties. From their earliest moments we have the duty to train
> them, both spiritually and materially, in the way that God has shown, and thus, as they come
> to adulthood, they can become champions of His Cause and spiritual and moral giants among
> mankind, equipped to meet all tests, and will be, indeed, “stars of the heaven of understanding”,
> “soft-flowing waters upon which must depend the very life of all men.”
> (From a letter dated 31 August 1976 written by the Universal House of Justice to
> all National Spiritual Assemblies)                                               [113]
> 
> Noting that you and your husband have consulted about your family problems with your
> Spiritual Assembly but did not receive any advice, and also discussed your situation with a family
> counsellor without success, the House of Justice feels it most essential for your husband and you
> to understand that marriage can be a source of well-being, conveying a sense of security and
> spiritual happiness. However, it is not something that just happens. For marriage to become a
> haven of contentment it requires the cooperation of the marriage partners themselves, and the
> assistance of their families.
> (From a letter dated 24 June 1979 written on behalf of the Universal House of
> Justice to an individual believer)                                              [114]
> 
> The Bahá’í concept of the role of women in society is unique. In contrast to the present
> tendency to devalue motherhood, the Faith affirms that this function is highly responsible and is
> of vital importance to the sound development of the new generation and thus, to the creation and
> maintenance of an ever-advancing civilization. The assignment of the primary responsibility for
> education of children to the mother derives directly from the fact that she is bearer of the baby.
> Her attitude, her prayers, even what she eats and her physical condition have a great influence on
> the child when it is still in the womb….
> 
> However, the Bahá’í Teachings do not call for women to be confined to the home and do
> not require them to be occupied solely with their domestic functions. Some indication of the role
> envisaged for women in the Bahá’í Dispensation is provided in the statements of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá
> that “women must advance and fulfil their mission in all departments of life, becoming equal to
> men”, and that
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> 
> In the Dispensation of Bahá’u’lláh, women are advancing side by side with
> men. There is no area or instance where they will lag behind: they have equal
> rights with men, and will enter, in the future, into all branches of the administration
> of society. Such will be their elevation that, in every area of endeavour, they will
> occupy the highest levels in the human world. Rest thou assured. Look not upon
> their present state. In future, the world of womankind will shine with lustrous
> brilliance, for such is the will and purpose of Bahá’u’lláh.
> (From a letter dated 4 August 1992 written on behalf of the Universal House
> of Justice to an individual believer)                                           [115]
> 
> …The Teachings of the Faith are quite clear on the necessity for attention to the education
> of children and the fostering of family life. The problem to which you have called attention
> arises when believers are confronted with insistent calls for assistance in the promotion of the
> Faith, in the administrative activities of the Bahá’í community, and in the consolidation work.
> Their challenge is to decide how to respond to these calls without neglect of their responsibilities
> to children and other family members, having regard to the limitations of time, energy and
> resources with which all Bahá’ís are confronted.
> 
> There is no single correct approach to meeting this challenge, since individual
> circumstances vary so greatly. However, it is clear that Bahá’ís should strive for balance, in
> which the legitimate needs of children and family are considered, together with the needs of the
> external Bahá’í community and its growth. As the family develops, a conscious effort should
> be made to draw all of its members into the work of the Faith in such manner that the children
> identify with it and do not resent the involvement of the parents; this should come about through
> a process of encouragement and nurturing, and the motivation of the family members sustained
> through family consultation.
> (From a letter dated 20 September 1992 written on behalf of the Universal
> House of Justice to an individual believer)                                      [116]
> 
> Your questions all pertain to the vital issue of the Bahá’í education of children. The House
> of Justice regards it as being of the utmost importance that Bahá’í parents strive to assist their
> children to make a sustained and systematic study of the Teachings, to spiritualize their lives, and
> to form their characters in accordance with the standards of Bahá’u’lláh. Success in the
> fulfilment of these vital duties on the part of the parents will lessen the danger of their children’s
> being caught up in the destructive forces which are a distinguishing feature of a declining social
> order sorely in need of regeneration, and of their being deprived of the healing grace of
> Bahá’u’lláh.
> (From a letter dated 2 July 1995 written on behalf of the Universal House of
> Justice to an individual believer)                                                  [117]
> 
> Protecting children from the immoral influences of present-day society stands as one of
> the mighty challenges facing Bahá’í parents. Your expression of concern about the effect which
> media, especially television programmes, has on children, has been sympathetically noted.
> As you well know, there is no practical way children can be shielded entirely from the moral
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> 
> problems of the society in which they are growing up. It therefore devolves upon parents to do
> all they can to ensure that their children receive spiritual education from their earliest years, both
> through Bahá’í classes sponsored by institutions of the Faith and through the moral instruction
> and example they receive at home. The published compilation on Bahá’í education offers many
> useful guidelines.
> 
> Since it is impossible for Bahá’í children to avoid exposure to unsavoury behaviour, it
> becomes important that the encounters that children may have with such behaviour through the
> media and in daily life be used wisely by parents as a means of guiding and assisting them to
> appreciate the practical as well as spiritual importance of being different. The extent to which
> you seek to reduce your child’s exposure to such influences is left to your best judgement in the
> light of the Teachings.
> (From a letter dated 4 September 2001 written on behalf of the Universal
> House of Justice to a Bahá’í couple)                                            [118]
> 
> The House of Justice is moved to learn of your love for the Blessed Beauty and your ardent
> desire to serve His Cause and win His good pleasure. There are many ways in which one can
> serve, and each person has to choose what he or she can do best within his or her possibilities and
> limits. Opportunities to serve the Cause do not necessarily exclude the possibility of rendering
> assistance to one’s family. It is important to note that every aspect of a person’s life is an element
> of service to Bahá’u’lláh: the love and respect one has for one’s parents; the pursuit of one’s
> education; the nurturing of good health; the acquisition of a trade or profession; one’s behaviour
> toward others and the upholding of a high moral standard; one’s marriage and the rearing of one’s
> children; one’s activities in teaching the Faith and in building up the strength of the Bahá’í
> community; and, of course, one’s daily prayer and study of the Writings.
> (From a letter dated 22 September 2002 written on behalf of the Universal
> House of Justice to an individual believer)                                         [119]
> 
> Regarding the question of whether you must seek the consent of your parents to marry,
> there are certain rare circumstances which can render this requirement inoperable in the case
> of one or both of the parents: if the parent has died; if he or she is certifiably insane and
> thus unable to give a legal decision; if he or she is untraceable; if he or she has disowned or
> officially relinquished responsibility for the child; if he or she has seriously abused the child.
> Cases of the last two types cover such a wide range of situations that they usually have to be
> referred to the House of Justice for consideration on a case-by-case basis.
> (From a letter dated 19 December 2006 written on behalf of the Universal
> House of Justice to an individual believer)                                     [120]
> 
> You are concerned about the application of this principle9 in relation to the training of
> children and youth and ask whether it would be acceptable for your child to choose not to be a
> Bahá’í. A way of understanding the purpose of independent investigation of truth in this context
> is to recognize the fairness of leaving individuals free to decide for themselves on the basis of
> 
> The independent investigation of truth
> Family Life                                                                             March 2008
> Page 43
> 
> their own enquiry and inner conviction what they will believe and of not imposing on them any
> obligation to accept automatically what their parents or others believe. It means, too, that the
> mature individual must take responsibility for deciding to what system of belief he will commit
> himself. Children who have been reared in the knowledge of the Faith by Bahá’í parents will
> know from the very character of the instruction they have received that they must exercise that
> responsibility personally for themselves. This point is made clear in Shoghi Effendi’s advice,
> as conveyed in a letter written on his behalf to a National Spiritual Assembly: “Once the child
> comes of age … he should be given full freedom to choose his religion, irrespective of the wishes
> and desires of his parents.”
> 
> Nonetheless, children need moral training from an early age to enable them at least to
> develop well in their social interaction with others. A common core of moral instruction can
> be found in all revealed scriptures, and it is appropriate, indeed necessary, for Bahá’í parents to
> abide by their own principles in guiding their children towards becoming spiritual beings and
> decent, upstanding members of society. Bahá’u’lláh has, after all, given each of His followers
> the duty to teach His Cause, describing it as the most meritorious of all deeds. It would truly
> be strange if, knowing this, a Bahá’í mother were to keep from her child what she is teaching
> to everyone else about the latest Revelation from God. Moreover, He has bidden parents to
> offer their children spiritual instruction from an early age, but to do so in a manner that does
> not conduce to fanaticism.
> 
> Left entirely on their own to find their way through life, children encounter dim prospects,
> as the deplorable situation with young people in present-day society so glaringly demonstrates.
> Among the things to be inculcated in children so as to prepare them for the future is the virtue
> of justice, which underscores the importance of one’s seeing with one’s own eyes and for one’s
> own self—the importance, in other words, of independent investigation. Without some form of
> training or orientation one cannot investigate truth. This is so for a scientist who would hardly be
> able to discover material reality without preparation by some form of training. The open attitude
> of the Faith to learning should encourage confidence in the friends that they are being endowed
> with the ability to develop searching minds. The more they study the Teachings the more is this
> ability awakened and increased.
> (From a letter dated 31 July 2007 written on behalf of the Universal House of
> Justice to an individual believer)                                              [121]
>
> — *Family Life (Used by permission of the curator)*