# The Role of the Father in the Family

*Exported from [Holy-Writings.com](https://www.holy-writings.com/) on 2026-06-21 — 1 clipping.*

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> Source: Bahá'í Library Online (bahai-library.com), curated by Jonah Winters. Used by permission of the curator. Original citation: Graeme Russell, The Role of the Father in the Family, bahai-library.com.
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> 
> The Role of the Father in the Family
> 
> Graeme Russell
> published in The Family: Our Hopes and Challenges
> 
> Roseberry: Association for Bahá'í Studies Australia, 1995
> 
> If I was giving a talk to a group of students at university I would
> probably start it out with something like: "Once fathers were neglected but now they
> are the subject of intense research". Up to a point this is true. The research
> interest in fathers only started about 20 years ago. You can probably trace this back to a
> few important publications in the middle to early 70s.
> 
> One of the more critical books on fatherhood says that "...the
> contemporary literature reveals a new maturity. Fathers are now accorded serious attention
> in textbooks on socialisation. Theorists and researchers ponder the patterns of influence
> within the family rather than independent maternal and paternal effects, and parenting
> manuals are directed to a mixed readership of mothers and fathers." I think we should
> accept that with some caution. I don’t think things have moved as much as we think
> they have. There is certainly more interest in fathers, but the research interest has not
> been there as strongly as I would have thought, given how it started in the early 70s.
> 
> What I want to do is just quickly go through an outline of certain
> areas of research into fathers. What is fathering about? What do fathers do?
> 
> Diversity of Fathering
> 
> With women we now accept diversity. That’s a fairly important step
> in terms of recognising that people have different needs, different values and so on. We
> are not in quite the same ball park with regard to fathers and men. The range includes the
> highly nurturant and involved, the "new father", "single fathers" and
> "traditional fathers" (in the sense of how we conceptualised the father before.)
> I think that we’ve probably been a bit more critical of the traditional father
> who’s in the paid workforce and doesn’t share much in the domestic work at home.
> I just read an article in the New Yorker where a new group of fathers are being very, very
> critical of the emphasis on this new age, more nurturant and involved fathering, saying:
> "Hey, that’s not what fathers were meant to be. They were meant to be
> disciplinarian, the person who was a little more aloof in the family." I notice that
> in the research as well.
> 
> There are also fathers who are non-custodial fathers within the context
> of the Family Court decision and they are a fairly important group. And I think it’s
> also important to recognise that there is a group of disengaged physically and sexually
> abusive fathers in our society. We as men have not been as prepared to accept more general
> responsibility for some of the family violence and sexual assault, and to look at ways of
> improving that situation. There are also the cultural and age differences.
> 
> Most of the research has really been done on white middle class
> fathers, so we don’t know a lot about the diversity of fatherhood. I am continually
> confronted by the diversity in fatherhood because of my involvement in running support and
> information groups for fathers and parents.
> 
> Beliefs and Feelings
> 
> There are also issues concerning beliefs and feelings about being a
> father. I think we sometimes make assumptions that fathers don’t feel very much at
> all about being a father, and I’m continually surprised when people try to explain a
> lot of men’s behaviour by a feeling of threat to their power. Some of that is true.
> Also, though, some of what men do in relation to their children comes from very
> deep-seated feelings they have about their children which they have not been able to
> express. I see that sometimes, when men are threatened with not having contact with their
> children. People are too willing to jump in and interpret it in that ‘power’
> domain, rather than perhaps saying : "Wait. This guy might have very deep feelings
> about his children and that might help explain some of his behaviour."
> 
> Roles and Responsibilities
> 
> If I ask an open-ended question of a father: "What do you see as
> being your roles and responsibilities as a father?", about 60% of fathers will,
> within the first sentence, say something about breadwinning and earning income. I do a lot
> of research about men who spend a lot of time at home, and that’s an issue for men
> whether they’re at home because they’re unemployed or home by choice. It’s
> an issue they have to deal with in terms of their personal identity. I think it’s
> still the case that men’s identification still revolves around paid work more than it
> does around family life. The majority of men, though, say that they would prefer to spend
> more time with their children if they had the opportunity to do it, but I’ll point
> our later that there are some real barriers for men to become more involved.
> 
> Involvement
> 
> Fathers can be competent care-givers. They can care for children - it
> might surprise you.
> 
> Fathers spend much less time than mothers in day-to-day care-giving,
> even when the mother is employed full-time. There is some evidence though that in younger
> families where you’ve got younger children fathers are doing more than they did in
> previous generations when you’ve got both parents employed, but it’s still
> nowhere near 50/50.
> 
> They spend the greatest percentage of their time in play with their
> children. For a long time researchers thought that this was just play, in other words
> fathers weren’t doing the ‘real’ things with their children, they
> weren’t care-giving for them, they weren’t changing nappies, they weren’t
> bathing them and so on. They were just playing with them. There is now strong research
> evidence that shows that the style of play that fathers engage in with their children,
> which is often more of a rough and tumble, to-and-fro type play, is strongly related to
> competence with peers in pre-school. It’s early days yet for us to be concluding from
> this, but it seems that some of the things that fathers are doing with their children are
> having a greater impact than we previously thought.
> 
> Fathers spend more time in triatic than diatic contexts (research
> jargon). They spend more time in a family context having 2 or 3 people around as well as
> the father, than in diatic contexts, ie: a one-to-one relationship with a child, and when
> I run groups for fathers one of the things I suggest is that they might spend more time
> alone with individual children to develop those relationships. In 1% to 2% of families
> fathers share equally in day-to-day caregiving. In about 5% to 10% of families fathers are
> highly involved on a day-to-day basis. (I’m using very high standards for
> ‘highly involved on a day-to-day basis). Men are spending more time at home caring
> for children, but the shift in housework isn’t as great. The "new and involved
> father" is becoming more common, but there is argument in the literature about
> "how common?", "what this indicates?" and so on. So some people have
> coined the phrase "the in-principle man". The principle they are in support
> of,but in practice, not at all.
> 
> One of things that we’ve found in our research is that men are
> very highly involved in making decisions in families, or being consulted with regard to
> making decisions, and that’s something we hadn’t picked up on earlier, because
> we were just asking ‘Who does what?" The involvement in decision making is a
> critical predictor for their well-being, how they feel about themselves and how they feel
> about their family life, and that’s true in those shared caregiving families where
> men are at home or caring for children as well. Those men get more irritated by the fact
> that they are not given the space to make the decisions. It is a fairly difficult thing
> for women in that situation to give a bit of space. But I don’t for a moment agree
> with the recent emphasis on women as "gatekeepers". I think that tends to lay
> blame on women for not allowing men to get space. The difficulty that women have in
> sharing space, and giving up the idea that they should be the primary caregiving parent
> all the time, is a real issue, but there is another side to it as well. Men can get over
> that barrier by having the techniques to do it.
> 
> Factors Associated With Men’s Involvement
> 
> What factors have been associated with men being more highly involved
> in family life, and particularly caring for children?
> 
> Attending the birth, although now that the majority of men attend the
> birth that probably won’t be shown in future research.
> 
> Having more information about child development and having had the
> opportunity to learn care-giving skills. There is research that shows that if men are
> given the opportunity to learn care-giving skills, say in a hospital situation, they will
> be more involved afterwards.
> 
> Having less stereotyped masculine self-concepts. Men who feel more
> confident with their identity, placing less emphasis on the social construction of
> masculinity, are also more likely to be involved.
> 
> Being employed in jobs that are less demanding. The work/family
> interface is a fairly critical factor here.
> 
> Having spouses who encourage involvement and consider their partners to
> be competent parents.
> 
> The partner relationship is fairly critical. I sometimes have people
> say to me "How did you become involved in this to begin with. I was not a new age
> guy. It was more the case that my wife encouraged and supported me).
> 
> There are factors during the pregnancy period that do facilitate men
> becoming more involved. Where people have gone through a process of trying to stay
> together as a couple eg attending doctor’s appointments together and things that are
> psychologically orientated towards having a baby, it’s in those families that you
> find fathers are more highly involved. Being a researcher, I add a caution that because
> these studies are really not great longitudinal studies, it really does not allow us to
> address the question of cause and effect. There may be other factors causing this. But at
> least at the moment we have a set of relationships that we think might be able to direct
> social policy.
> 
> Benefits of Involvement
> 
> One of the things that comes through very clearly in the research is
> that there are enormous benefits for men themselves in getting involved with their
> children. Shifting the emphasis towards fathers being highly involved is not going to
> create ‘super kids’. There are obviously some positive processes going on when
> you have two parents who are actively involved and care, but if I had to take a very
> critical review of all the work that’s been done I think that the benefits are
> greater for fathers than anybody else. They get a greater sense of satisfaction, a greater
> sense of contribution and stronger relationships with their children. It’s the
> increased depth of the relationship with their children that turns out to be more critical
> than anything else. Obviously there are benefits for women as well, but when it’s all
> filtered through it’s for fathers more than anything else.
> 
> Practices and Policies
> 
> I think it’s necessary to establish a set of working principles,
> and that’s what I’ve done with my research. Sometimes I get challenged by people
> who say "Some of what you say is not supported by research" And I have to say
> "That’s true because the research hasn’t been done". What I’ve
> rather done is to start out with a set of basic ‘human being’ principles,
> primarily around rights and responsibilities for both mothers and fathers to share in the
> nurturing, as well as the things that go on outside the home. The basis of that is that
> the well-being of mothers, fathers, children and employers in society would be enhanced by
> a better balance between paid work and family life for fathers, and there is a need to
> improve the parenting opportunities for fathers.
> 
> The barriers to fathers becoming more involved are more significant
> than we sometimes think. The services that people provide for parents are not particularly
> father-friendly. Practices and policies are based on traditional assumptions, and not
> based on the presumption of shared responsibility.
> 
> Changes are needed:
> 
> Firstly, recognise the diversity. Give more attention to
> father’s feelings, his needs for support and support groups for men. Once you start
> that process men will talk, will share feelings and will feel comfortable. It’s a
> matter of providing a forum for that.
> 
> Evaluate the arguments about time spent with children. I believe that
> quantity time is important to get quality time. Having the time is critical, and when I
> work with men I often go through how they use their time, and encourage them to put
> greater priority both on time with their children and partner time.
> 
> Develop family-enhancing employment policies.
> 
> Provide parent-education programs for fathers.
> 
> Give more attention to couple-relationships. This is fairly critical
> in negotiating all of these changes.
> 
> Critically evaluate the approaches to services.
> 
> And finally, more research is needed.
> 
> METADATA
> 
> Views33717 views since posted 2011-09-30; last edit 2024-07-09 05:01 UTC;
> 
> previous at archive.org.../russell_role_father_family
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> Proofread 2011-09-29 by Jonah Winters.
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> — *The Role of the Father in the Family (Used by permission of the curator)*